St. Louis or Wisconsin Dells?

Neither place is on a coast, but only Wisconsin Dells offers swimming worth planning for. St. Louis sits on fast, working rivers where nobody swims, so cooling off means a pool or a long drive to an Ozark lake.

In the Dells, Devil's Lake has sandy beaches at both ends under the bluffs, and the water warms to about 24°C in high summer. Mirror Lake and Lake Delton are closer and calm for paddling. The season is short, though, and most swimming here happens in the waterparks.

St. Louis eats better, though modestly. Its food is a local quirk to enjoy while you are there rather than a reason to make the trip. You can eat well for little: toasted ravioli, cracker-thin pizza under Provel cheese, gooey butter cake and proper ribs. The Hill keeps its family trattorias and delis, and South Grand mixes Bosnian grills with Vietnamese and Ethiopian kitchens. The Saturday Soulard Market and the red-brick Anheuser-Busch brewery round it out.

Wisconsin Dells mostly feeds families between rides, with steakhouses, buffets and pizza along the strips. The local flavour comes from Wisconsin rituals: a supper club with a brandy old fashioned, the Friday fish fry and squeaky cheese curds. They are fun to try once, but anyone keen on eating out saves it for a day in Madison.

The difference is large. St. Louis has two or three full days of sights: the Gateway Arch with its museum of westward expansion, the Old Courthouse where the Dred Scott case began, free collections in Forest Park, the mosaics of the Cathedral Basilica and whole streets of Victorian brick in Lafayette Square.

Wisconsin Dells is an amusement town. The H.H. Bennett Studio, which tells how a photographer's pictures first brought tourists to the gorges, is the main historic stop. Most of the rest is themed facades and wax museums.

St. Louis gives you an evening out with some choice: corner blues taverns in Soulard, dance bars on Washington Avenue, the late-night LGBTQ+ strip in the Grove and student bars on the Delmar Loop. These are spread out, so expect taxis between them.

In Wisconsin Dells the town goes quiet once the waterparks shut. A few taverns, brewery taprooms and supper-club bars serve a drink after dinner, and there is no club scene at all.

Wisconsin Dells has the more distinctive landscape. The river carves narrow sandstone canyons that you see best by boat or kayak, and Devil's Lake adds quartzite bluffs, steep boulder trails and some of the Midwest's best rock climbing. Autumn colour and winter skiing extend the season.

St. Louis has the large, wooded Forest Park in town and the gentle Ozark foothills within an hour, with river bluffs and caves at Castlewood and Meramec. In winter, bald eagles gather along the bluffs near Alton.

Both have a solid list of day trips, and both need a car for nearly all of them. From St. Louis the trips lean towards deep history: UNESCO-listed Cahokia Mounds twenty minutes away, French colonial Ste. Genevieve, Mark Twain's Hannibal and Lincoln's Springfield.

From the Dells the mix is more varied: the lakeside capital of Madison, Frank Lloyd Wright's Taliesin and the House on the Rock at Spring Green, and Circus World in Baraboo. Both regions also have German-settled wine country.

Wisconsin Dells is built for children, with the country's largest outdoor waterpark, indoor water resorts that stay open all winter, and go-karts and rollercoasters a few minutes apart. Teenagers may tire of it, and summer weekends are loud.

St. Louis is a strong second and more varied. The climbable City Museum delights children and adults alike, and the zoo and Science Center are free. The drawbacks are the driving between attractions and the humid afternoons.

Both need a car, but St. Louis gives you more without one. MetroLink runs from the airport through the Central West End and Forest Park to downtown, and those districts are walkable on their own.

Wisconsin Dells has no useful public transport. Its resorts and outlets line highways that are unpleasant to walk along, and only the few blocks of Broadway are made for strolling.

Neither is a shopping destination, but St. Louis has more character for browsing. You can spend an afternoon among the antiques and record shops on Cherokee Street, in the boutiques of the Central West End and at Soulard Market.

Shopping in Wisconsin Dells means fudge, T-shirts and cheese on Broadway, plus an outlet centre for brand-name clothing on a wet day.

Overall costs are similar, but the money goes on different things. In St. Louis the zoo, art museum, history museum and science centre are free, so the main costs are a hire car or taxis and the tips and tax on meals.

In Wisconsin Dells the bill depends on the calendar. Peak summer weekends and resort extras add up fast for a family, while older motels, off-season stays and the state parks keep things more moderate.

St. Louis has one of the oldest and most admired orchestras in the country, touring Broadway at the Fabulous Fox and summer musicals at the Muny's huge outdoor theatre. It also has a real blues heritage, carried on by the National Blues Museum and the bars of Soulard.

Wisconsin Dells offers magic shows, dinner theatre and tribute acts. Anyone who cares about the stage drives to Spring Green or Madison.

Neither is a place to plan a restful vacation around, though Wisconsin Dells offers more. Several resorts have full-service spas, a long-established adults-only retreat in the woods gives parents a proper break, and early mornings on the river are calm.

St. Louis has only day spas and yoga studios. Its restful moments are a slow walk in Forest Park or the Japanese garden at the Missouri Botanical Garden.