Bacalar or Oaxaca?

This is Bacalar's strength. Its lagoon is warm, clear and calm, with shallow water in bands of blue, and you get in from docks, balnearios and the deep pool of Cenote Azul. There is not much sand and there is no surf, but the swimming is excellent.

Oaxaca sits in a highland valley with mountains between it and the Pacific. Puerto Escondido or Huatulco are trips of their own rather than a day out. Anyone who wants to swim in Oaxaca will be using a hotel pool or adding a few days on the coast.

Oaxaca is one of the reasons people travel to Mexico at all. It has half a dozen moles, tlayudas grilled over charcoal, the smoky meat aisle of the 20 de Noviembre market, hot chocolate with egg bread for breakfast and chefs cooking tasting menus with heirloom maize.

Bacalar eats well but within narrow limits. There is good Yucatecan cochinita pibil and panuchos in town and fish and ceviche by the lagoon. After a few days you will be going back to the same places.

Oaxaca has a UNESCO-listed colonial centre, the gilded interior of Santo Domingo with the Monte Albán gold in the museum next door, the Tamayo and textile museums, and the Zapotec capital itself on a hill above the city. That is two or three full days of looking.

Bacalar has the eighteenth-century Fuerte de San Felipe, with its small museum on the pirate raids and a view over the lagoon, and very little else. People with an interest in history head out to the Maya ruins in the forest.

Neither place is a clubbing destination, but Oaxaca has proper evenings out. Mezcal bars in the centre and Jalatlaco, rooftop terraces and the Macedonio Alcalá stay busy after dinner, and a few spots have salsa or DJs past midnight at weekends.

In Bacalar you get a drink by the square or on the shore, and backpackers gather at the hostels. Most people are in bed early so they can paddle at sunrise.

Both are good for the outdoors, but in very different ways. Bacalar's nature is all on the water: 40km of lagoon edged with mangroves, kayaks at dawn, Bird Island, ancient stromatolites and the current at Los Rápidos. On land the country around it is flat, hot forest with few trails.

Oaxaca is for walkers. The Sierra Norte has community-run trails and cabins in cloud forest at about 3,000m, Hierve el Agua has its petrified mineral cascades, and you can ride a mountain bike through the agave fields. Choose Bacalar to be in the water and Oaxaca to hike.

Oaxaca has more within reach and it is easier to get to. Within an hour you can visit the Tule cypress, Mitla's stone fretwork, Teotitlán's weavers, mezcal distilleries and the craft villages to the south, and colectivos make it easy to fit two or three into one day. The Mixteca monasteries make a longer outing.

Bacalar's outings are Maya ruins in the jungle: the uncrowded Chacchoben, and Kohunlich with its stucco masks. You can add the Maya museum in Chetumal or a drive to the coast at Mahahual. The distances are longer and you will usually need a car.

Neither is a natural family choice, and they fall short in different ways. In Bacalar children spend all day in warm, waveless shallows jumping off docks. Once out of the water there is nothing for them, and the humid heat makes walking around tiring.

Oaxaca turns that the other way round. The pedestrian streets, balloon sellers on the zócalo and alebrije-painting or chocolate-making sessions entertain older children, but there is nowhere to swim, the ruins have little shade, and cobbled streets are hard on pushchairs.

Oaxaca is easier on foot. Most of what you want is within a twenty-minute walk of the zócalo, and taxis and colectivos handle the valley villages, so you can manage without a car.

In Bacalar the town centre takes only a few minutes to cross, but the lodges, balnearios and Cenote Azul are spread out along a shore road with little room for pedestrians. You end up relying on taxis or bicycles, and a hire car makes the ruins much easier.

In Bacalar, shopping is a short stop at the stalls by the main square for a hammock or a piece of embroidered cotton. It is enough for a souvenir, and any errand beyond that means going to Chetumal.

Oaxaca is the opposite: buying things becomes part of the trip. Galleries off the Macedonio Alcalá sell woven textiles and black pottery, and the markets have mole paste and chocolate that travel well. Out in the valley you can buy a rug or a carved alebrije from the family that made it. You will want far more luggage space than Bacalar would ever need, although neither place has designer labels.

Oaxaca is easier on the budget. Market meals, fondas, taxis and entry to the ruins all cost little, and the expensive part, colonial boutique hotels and tasting menus, is easy to skip. Book well ahead or go at another time if your dates fall in Guelaguetza or Day of the Dead.

Bacalar can be cheap in town, with guesthouses, local food and shared boat trips. But the lakeside lodges with their own docks, which are the main reason many people come, cost about the same as rooms on the Caribbean coast.

Oaxaca has real performances, built around its festivals. In July the Guelaguetza brings regional dances to the hillside auditorium, and there are parades and Day of the Dead comparsas. Through the year you can hear marimbas on the zócalo and catch concerts at the ornate Teatro Macedonio Alcalá.

Bacalar has nothing comparable beyond the odd weekend band on the square.

Bacalar is the more restful of the two. Your day follows the light: a paddle at dawn, the hammock through the heat, then a swim at sunset. The lakeside lodges are far from road noise, and many run yoga sessions and short retreats.

Both places offer the temazcal sweat lodge, and in Oaxaca it is led by Zapotec healers in the valley villages. Oaxaca is calm for a city, with shaded courtyards and quiet Jalatlaco gardens, but it is still a city, and festival weeks bring fireworks and crowds.