Carmel-by-the-Sea or San Diego?

Carmel Beach is beautiful for a sunset walk, with white sand and cypress trees behind it, but the cold water and strong surf mean almost nobody swims. The beaches to the south are even more dangerous.

San Diego has a whole coastline for a beach vacation: the wide strand at Coronado, the Mission and Pacific Beach boardwalk, gentle waves at La Jolla Shores and calm water in Mission Bay for small children. The sea is still cool by summer-vacation standards, but in late summer you can actually swim.

Carmel eats like a smart country village: candlelit French and Italian rooms, local crab and sand dabs, and Pinot Noir from the nearby highlands. The choice stops there, though. There is little that is cheap, late or from outside Europe and California.

San Diego is broader and more relaxed. Baja-style fish tacos, the California burrito, a strong craft-beer scene and the long run of Asian kitchens on Convoy Street give it more variety at every budget, even if it has fewer refined set-piece dinners.

Carmel's culture takes a morning or two: the stone basilica and gardens of the Carmel Mission, the storybook cottages and Robinson Jeffers' hand-built Tor House. Galleries make up most of the rest.

San Diego has more to see. The museums of Balboa Park can fill a full day, and then there are the USS Midway, the Maritime Museum's sailing ships, Old Town's adobe buildings and the first of California's missions. Neither is a major art destination, but San Diego can keep you busy for longer.

Carmel barely has a nightlife: a glass of wine before the tasting rooms close, dinner and a nightcap in a hotel lounge, and the lanes are dark by ten.

San Diego has several different scenes to choose from. The Gaslamp has rooftop bars and clubs, Pacific Beach is a rowdy beach-town strip, and North Park and Hillcrest have cocktail bars and the gay scene. It is not a party city, but you can have a proper evening out.

For nature, Carmel is the stronger base. Point Lobos begins five minutes from the village, with granite headlands, wind-bent cypress and coves full of seals and sea otters. The Big Sur coast carries on from there to Bixby Bridge and the redwood canyons of Pfeiffer Big Sur. Very few places have that much wild coast this close.

San Diego's outdoors is gentler and more spread out. Torrey Pines has sandstone bluff trails, La Jolla has sea lions and kayak routes into the sea caves, and there is surf along the whole coast. The pine-forested Cuyamaca mountains and the Anza-Borrego desert are an hour or more inland, and the shore near the city is far more built up than Big Sur.

The two are broadly level here, but the trips are different. From Carmel they stay close and gentle: Cannery Row in Monterey, Pacific Grove, the wine lanes of Carmel Valley and Steinbeck country in Salinas. San Francisco is too far for a comfortable day.

San Diego's best feature is the border. Tijuana is a trolley ride and a walk away, and the Valle de Guadalupe vineyards are a long day south. Temecula, Julian and the beach towns north along the coast cover the American side.

Carmel is safe and calm, and the Monterey Bay Aquarium is a superb day out, but the village itself is made for adults. The sea is too rough for young children to paddle in.

San Diego is one of the easiest family destinations anywhere. The zoo in Balboa Park, the Safari Park, SeaWorld and Legoland can each fill a day, and the playgrounds and fountains in the parks, the mild weather and relaxed restaurants make the time in between easy too.

Both cities expect you to drive, but in different ways. Carmel is a walkable village of about a square mile with no street lights in its residential lanes, and a car is essential for Point Lobos, Big Sur and the aquarium.

San Diego has a small walkable core around downtown and Little Italy, with a trolley to Old Town and the border and coastal trains heading north. La Jolla, the beaches and the big parks are far apart, though, so you usually need a car or ride-hailing.

Carmel's shopping is pleasant browsing between walks: painting galleries, cashmere and jewellery in hidden courtyards, all covered in an afternoon.

San Diego has more range, with the department stores of Fashion Valley, a large outlet centre by the border, vintage shops in North Park and Mexican pottery in Old Town. Even so, it has no great shopping street.

Neither is cheap, but Carmel is the bigger stretch. Its boutique inns charge luxury prices out of season too, and cheap food hardly exists, so many visitors stay in Monterey or Seaside to save money.

San Diego's hotels and big-name attractions are also expensive, but taco shops, taprooms, free beaches and Balboa Park's gardens make an economical day much easier to put together.

Carmel's arts calendar is mostly in summer, with the Baroque concerts of the Bach Festival and plays at the open-air Forest Theater in the pines. The Monterey Jazz Festival is next door in September.

San Diego has a stronger year-round programme. The Old Globe and La Jolla Playhouse produce serious theatre, the symphony plays a summer season on the bay, and there is opera downtown and free organ concerts in Balboa Park.

Neither city has thermal baths, and both offer a similar amount of rest, in different styles. Carmel's calm comes from misty mornings, silent evenings, fireside rooms and the lodge spas of Pebble Beach and Carmel Valley.

San Diego relaxes outdoors and in the sun. It has resort spas in La Jolla and Coronado and a long-standing yoga culture in Encinitas, though downtown and Pacific Beach are not restful.