El Nido or Kota Kinabalu?

El Nido is the stronger beach destination by a wide margin. There are 4km of near-empty pale sand at Nacpan, softer beaches at Las Cabanas and Marimegmeg, and cliff-ringed coves with shallow, very clear water all over Bacuit Bay. That gives far more variety and far more room, though each beach starts with a boat or a tricycle ride.

Kota Kinabalu's best swimming is a short speedboat trip away on Manukan, Sapi and Mamutik. They are quicker to reach, but the beaches are short and crowded with day-trippers by late morning. Tanjung Aru, the city's own beach, is better for a sunset walk than for a swim.

Kota Kinabalu is the place to eat well. You choose crab, prawns or lobster from live tanks, eat squid and stingray grilled at the waterfront night market, and find dishes of its own in the kopitiams and Kadazan kitchens, such as sang nyuk mee, Tuaran mee and hinava. Most of it is served at plastic tables.

El Nido cooks for backpackers, with pizza, burgers and smoothie bowls on the town lanes and some adobo and kinilaw among them. Its best meal is the grilled seafood lunch the boat crews make on island-hopping days.

Neither suits a culture trip, but Kota Kinabalu at least fills half a day. The Sabah Museum and its longhouse heritage village, the City Mosque on its lagoon and the Atkinson Clock Tower of 1905 give some feel for Borneo's peoples and the city's past, even though wartime bombing left the centre mostly postwar concrete.

El Nido has a modest parish church, a few old wooden houses and a landmark that is a limestone cliff.

Both have small scenes, but the crowds are different. El Nido's evenings belong to young backpackers: reggae bars, fire dancers on the beach, hostel pub crawls and party boats, all within a few streets.

In Kota Kinabalu the evening is usually a long seafood dinner and then a drink at the waterfront bars, looking out at the islands. A few live-band bars and small clubs stay open later at weekends, and the crowd there is mostly local.

Both settings are outstanding, but El Nido's is at sea and Kota Kinabalu's is mostly inland. In Bacuit Bay you kayak through gaps in the rock into the Big and Small Lagoons, snorkel on every boat trip and dive to walls and turtle sites. On land there is little beyond the climb up Taraw cliff and a waterfall.

Kota Kinabalu has marine park snorkelling too, and its range on land is far wider. You can climb the 4,095m granite summit of Mount Kinabalu through cloud forest over two days, raft on the Kiulu and Padas rivers, or watch proboscis monkeys and fireflies on dusk cruises through the Klias wetlands.

Kota Kinabalu has a few genuine outings. You can visit the Sunday tamu at Kota Belud, where Bajau and Dusun villagers trade livestock and crafts, ride the slow colonial railway south through rice fields to Beaufort, or stop at the death march memorial at Kundasang on the mountain road.

From El Nido the only real option is Taytay's small Spanish fort, about an hour and a half away. Most people spend their days on the water instead.

Kota Kinabalu is the easier choice with children. Shallow island beaches are a short boat ride away, Lok Kawi Wildlife Park has orangutans and pygmy elephants, and the big resorts have pools and kids' clubs. The heat and poor pavements are still hard work.

El Nido suits older children who love snorkelling and boat days. With toddlers, the long journey there, steep boat ladders, wet landings and basic medical care make it hard going.

Neither is easy without a driver, but Kota Kinabalu is simpler. Ride-hailing is cheap across the city, the island boats leave from a central jetty, and the waterfront, the markets and Gaya Street are close together.

El Nido runs on tricycles, rented scooters and bangka tours. The narrow lanes have no pavements and are shared with traffic, and you need to hire transport for the day to reach Nacpan or the north.

Kota Kinabalu gives you something to browse. The Sunday market on Gaya Street has orchids, rattan and batik, and the waterfront handicraft market sells pearls and woven goods. Sabah tea and Borneo beadwork make good gifts, and the modern malls cover anything you forgot to pack. In El Nido, shopping is limited to sarongs, dry bags, swimwear and shell jewellery from small stalls.

Kota Kinabalu is the cheaper base from day to day. Kopitiam breakfasts, market seafood, ride-hailing and comfortable mid-range hotels all cost little. The bigger costs are the experiences: Kinabalu permits, guides and the mountain hut, plus diving and rafting.

El Nido is dearer than most of the Philippines because it is remote. Western dishes on the main lanes cost more than you would expect, and boat tours are an expense on almost every day of a stay.

Neither has a stage worth planning a trip around. El Nido offers acoustic guitarists, reggae covers and fire dancing on the sand.

Kota Kinabalu's traditional dances are mostly staged shows in cultural villages and at hotel dinners. The Kaamatan harvest festival at Penampang is the exception, with gong ensembles and bamboo bands played by and for local people, and El Nido has nothing like it.

El Nido has a slight edge for unwinding, because the calm comes from the setting. There are beachfront massage huts, hilot, yoga classes and secluded private-island resorts with proper spas, as long as you stay away from the noisy town.

In Kota Kinabalu, relaxing mostly means a resort stay at Tanjung Aru or Dalit Bay and cheap foot reflexology. The open-air sulphur tubs at Poring Hot Springs are a lovely soak, but a long drive from the city.