Palm Beach or Wilmington?

Both face the Atlantic, but Palm Beach has the warmer, clearer water. The Gulf Stream runs close to shore, so you can swim all year, and Peanut Island's shallow lagoon adds calm snorkelling. The catch is that much of the island's own shore sits behind seawalls and private estates, so the wider sand is a short drive away at Singer Island or Jupiter.

Wilmington's beaches are better for their sand than for their sea. Wrightsville's broad pale shore, Carolina Beach's boardwalk and quieter Kure Beach give three distinct moods. All are a drive from the city, though, swimming only works from late May to October, and rip currents need watching.

Neither is worth travelling to for the food, but they eat very differently. Palm Beach is formal and polished, with French and Italian dining rooms, stone crab in season and dress codes. The casual choice, such as Cuban bakeries and a waterfront green market, is across the bridge in West Palm Beach.

Wilmington is more relaxed and more regional. It has shrimp and grits, raw oyster bars, vinegar-sauced whole-hog barbecue and craft breweries in the north end of downtown, though it has little international cooking.

Both have a short list of sights that fills two or three days, and in both the main interest is architecture. Palm Beach shows off Gilded Age wealth: Whitehall is the essential visit, Mizner's Mediterranean Revival vias line Worth Avenue, and the Norton Museum across the lagoon brings a broader art collection.

Wilmington's heritage is that of an old Southern port. Its large historic district of antebellum and Victorian houses sits under live oaks, the Bellamy Mansion tells of the enslaved labour behind that wealth, and the Battleship North Carolina lies across the river. Wilmington feels like a lived-in town, while Palm Beach feels more like a showpiece.

Evenings in Palm Beach end with dinner and a hotel bar, the island is quiet by eleven, and its social life happens in private clubs. Going out means crossing to Clematis Street in West Palm Beach.

Wilmington is the better night out, and it starts on the doorstep. Front Street and the blocks around it fill with pubs, bars and rooftop terraces at weekends, students keep the crowd young, and the beach towns add laid-back bars in summer. Neither city has real club culture.

The two are equally rewarding outdoors, but in different settings. Palm Beach is at its best underwater, with reefs close offshore and the famous shallow dive under the Blue Heron Bridge. On land, there are alligators at the Loxahatchee refuge and manatees in winter.

Wilmington is a landscape of marsh and river. You can kayak out to undeveloped Masonboro Island, surf off Wrightsville and walk through pine savanna where the Venus flytrap grows wild. Neither has hills, and in both the summer heat pushes activity into the early morning.

Palm Beach has the bigger prize within reach. Miami, with South Beach, Little Havana and Wynwood, is about an hour away by fast train, and Delray Beach and Jupiter's lighthouse fill shorter outings, though the coastal towns resemble one another.

Wilmington's outings are smaller and slower. There is Southport with its ferry to car-free Bald Head Island, the Civil War earthworks at Fort Fisher, and longer drives to New Bern or Beaufort. They have more older history, but nothing on Miami's scale.

Both work well with children, in different ways. Palm Beach itself is formal, so the family fun is across the bridge: the zoo, the science centre and watching manatees in winter. Peanut Island's calm lagoon suits small swimmers.

Wilmington is more relaxed, with rental houses near the sand, Carolina Beach's boardwalk of rides and arcades, the aquarium at Fort Fisher and the battleship's decks. Its beaches are for summer only, whereas Palm Beach's water stays warm through the winter.

The two are much alike: each has a walkable core and needs a car beyond it. Palm Beach is a little easier, with the flat Lake Trail for cycling, a free trolley in downtown West Palm Beach and a fast train that makes Miami simple.

In Wilmington the riverwalk links the historic district, but the beaches are 15km or more away and the aquarium and Southport can only be reached by driving.

This is one of the widest gaps between them. Worth Avenue is a true luxury street of major fashion houses and jewellers set among Mizner's courtyards, and Palm Beach adds designer consignment shops and the long Antique Row across the water.

Shopping in Wilmington is low-key. There are independent boutiques, galleries and bookshops on Front Street and in the Cotton Exchange, surf wear in the beach towns, and suburban centres for everything else.

Wilmington is far easier on the wallet. Off-season rooms are reasonable and casual seafood and barbecue are fair value, though summer beach rentals and a hire car you can hardly avoid push costs up.

Palm Beach is one of the most expensive resorts in the country, with winter hotel rooms costing more than in big cities and restaurants priced for the wealthy. Staying in West Palm Beach or coming in the humid summer helps, but it remains a splurge.

The two arts scenes are of similar depth but run on different calendars. Palm Beach's is a winter affair centred on the Kravis Center, with touring Broadway shows, visiting orchestras, ballet and Palm Beach Opera, and it thins sharply after spring.

Wilmington's centrepiece is Thalian Hall, a restored 19th-century opera house hosting local theatre and touring shows. In the warmer months there are outdoor stages by Greenfield Lake and long-running jazz and blues festivals, the live music Palm Beach largely lacks.

Palm Beach is the more restful choice: a quiet, manicured island whose large oceanfront resorts have polished spas, salt-water pools and fitness programmes, with beach yoga and early sea swims close at hand. All of it comes at resort prices.

Wilmington's appeal is its slow pace and calm evenings on the waterfront, but its spas are of modest scale and there is no proper retreat to book into.