Bangkok or Kathmandu?

Neither city works for a beach trip, but Bangkok at least has the sea within reach. Bang Saen and Pattaya are under two hours away by road, and most people add a few nights on the islands or in Hua Hin instead. In the city itself, a swim means a hotel pool, often on a rooftop.

Kathmandu is landlocked and high in its valley, with cold, fast rafting rivers and no water you can swim in. Unless you go to a hotel pool, there is no swimming at all.

Bangkok is one of the world's great eating cities. In Kathmandu, food is a pleasant part of the day, not the reason to go. In Bangkok, Thai cooking is everywhere from breakfast to the early hours: shophouse curries, boat noodles, Chinatown's evening street kitchens, the Or Tor Kor market and a deep tier of ambitious regional Thai restaurants, with good Japanese food, cocktails and coffee besides.

Kathmandu's best food is Newari, such as choila, bara and yomari, eaten in small places around the old bazaars and in Patan. Add momos everywhere and Tibetan thukpa near Boudhanath. Thamel's long tourist menus are hit and miss, fine dining barely exists, and you need to take care with water.

The two are about equal for sightseeing, but the experience is very different. Bangkok's great sights are royal and gilded, packed onto Rattanakosin Island: the Grand Palace and Emerald Buddha, the Reclining Buddha at Wat Pho, porcelain-covered Wat Arun across the river, plus the National Museum and Jim Thompson House. Beyond the old centre, most of the city is modern towers.

Kathmandu's heritage is part of ordinary life across the valley. Market traders work around the pagoda temples of Durbar Square, pilgrims circle Boudhanath at dusk, and cremations take place openly at Pashupatinath. Patan has the finest square and the best museum, while carved windows and courtyard shrines fill the lanes of Asan in between.

Bangkok's nights are far bigger and more varied. You can choose polished cocktail bars and clubs in Thonglor and Ekkamai, cheap and loud Khao San Road, the gay scene in Silom or a rooftop bar above the river, and most places stay open until about two.

Kathmandu has really just one place to go out: Thamel. There, trekkers fill rooftop bars, pool halls and a few dance floors to celebrate the end of a route. It is friendly but narrow in character, quiet by midnight, and the rest of the city is calm after dark.

Kathmandu is the stronger choice for the outdoors, with the Himalaya just beyond the hills around the valley. You can walk oak and rhododendron forest in Shivapuri Nagarjun, ride the cable car up Chandragiri, watch sunrise over the snow peaks from Nagarkot or Dhulikhel, or take a mountain flight to Everest. Rafting rivers and long treks such as Langtang start from here.

Bangkok is a flat, humid delta city. Outdoors it offers Lumphini Park with its monitor lizards and a bike ride through Bang Krachao's orchards, while Khao Yai's forests are hours away and the midday heat makes any exercise hard work.

Bangkok has the wider choice. Ayutthaya's ruined temples on a river island, best seen by bicycle, make a full day on their own. The Amphawa and Damnoen Saduak floating markets, the Maeklong railway market and Nakhon Pathom's great stupa offer something quite different, and Kanchanaburi's Death Railway sites add war history on a long day out.

Kathmandu has one essential trip: Bhaktapur, with its brick squares and five-tiered temples, combined with the carvings at Changu Narayan. After that come Kirtipur, Bungamati, Pharping and Panauti, which are charming but repeat the same Newari theme, and slow roads stretch every outing.

Children get a warm welcome in both cities, but only Bangkok has much made for them. There is Sea Life under Siam Paragon, Safari World, Dream World, KidZania and large indoor play areas for the hottest hours. The heat and broken pavements are still tiring, so families do best staying near a Skytrain station with a pool to come back to.

Kathmandu has the monkeys at Swayambhunath, the prayer wheels at Boudhanath, a small zoo and not much else for children. Narrow lanes without pavements, dust, poor winter air and care with food make it better suited to older children on their way to a trek.

Bangkok has a real transport network: the air-conditioned BTS and MRT lines, an airport rail link and the Chao Phraya Express boats, which stop near the Grand Palace and Wat Arun. Its weak points are the old city, which the trains barely reach, the gridlocked roads and pavements that are hard to walk in the heat.

Kathmandu has no metro or tram, and its minibuses are hard for visitors to work out, so most people use taxis or ride-hailing motorbikes. On the other hand, Thamel and the old city are compact enough to explore on foot, which suits sightseeing there, but trips to Patan, Boudhanath or the airport can drag in traffic.

Bangkok covers far more ground, from the luxury floors of Siam Paragon and ICONSIAM to the electronics of MBK, the wholesale clothing of Pratunam and the thousands of stalls at Chatuchak Weekend Market. Good things to take home include Thai silk, celadon and benjarong porcelain.

Kathmandu is purely a place for crafts. You will find pashmina and singing bowls in Thamel, though many are copies, Tibetan carpets and thangkas around Boudhanath, and bronze statues cast in Patan's own workshops. There is no fashion or luxury shopping, and you are expected to bargain.

Both cities are very easy on a budget, but Kathmandu is cheaper still. A Thamel guesthouse, a plate of dal bhat and a bargained taxi cost very little, and the real costs are trekking permits, mountain flights and the entry fees at the Durbar Squares and Pashupatinath.

Bangkok's street food, transport and comfortable hotels are cheap by Western standards. Costs rise in the rooftop bars, international restaurants and anything involving imported drinks, and staying on the river or in Sukhumvit costs more than staying in Banglamphu.

Bangkok has more you can actually book. Khon masked dance dramas from the Ramakien are staged at the Sala Chalermkrung and the National Theatre, the Thailand Cultural Centre hosts the symphony orchestra, and Muay Thai nights at Rajadamnern and Lumpinee come with their own ritual music. Small jazz bars make up most of the live music.

In Kathmandu, the richest performances are religious rather than staged: masked dances at Indra Jatra, evening devotional singing at temples and processions with drums through the old quarters. Beyond that, there are Thamel cover bands, dinner shows and an autumn jazz festival.

For pampering, Bangkok is the better choice. Wat Pho still teaches and practises traditional Thai massage within its temple grounds, shopfront parlours stay open late on every street, and the grand hotels run some of Asia's finest spas. What it lacks is quiet, so you relax in short spells between the heat and the traffic.

Kathmandu's strength is calm for the mind rather than the body. Kopan and the other monasteries above Boudhanath run meditation and Buddhist philosophy courses, and yoga, Ayurveda and singing-bowl sessions are easy to find. Thamel massages are cheap but of mixed skill.