Big Bear Lake or San Francisco?

Neither is a swimming destination, and each falls short in its own way. Big Bear's lake warms to about 19°C in high summer, enough for a dip close to shore, and Meadow Park has the one supervised swim beach. Elsewhere the shoreline is mostly rock, and most time on the water is spent in a kayak or on a paddleboard.

San Francisco has the better beaches to look at, with Ocean Beach for long walks and Baker Beach facing the Golden Gate Bridge. The Pacific stays cold, though, and rip currents make Ocean Beach unsafe to enter. Here the shore is for sunsets and bonfires, and a warm swim means a hotel pool.

In Big Bear you eat because you are there. Meals mean big breakfasts in log-cabin diners, burgers, barbecue and a brewpub pint, and many visitors simply cook in their cabins.

In San Francisco food is a reason to come in its own right. It ranges from Mission taquerias and Chinatown dim sum to North Beach bakeries, sourdough, cioppino and a top tier of fine dining. The Ferry Building market and Napa and Sonoma wines are close at hand.

Big Bear has a forest discovery centre, a small history museum and the gold-rush remains of Holcomb Valley along a dirt road, which together make an afternoon at most.

San Francisco gives you a full itinerary. Alcatraz, the cable cars, the Golden Gate Bridge and the painted Victorians of Alamo Square sit alongside SFMOMA, the de Young, the Legion of Honor and the Asian Art Museum, with Chinatown and the Mission's murals in between.

After dark, Big Bear offers a few après-ski bars in winter and a brewpub, then the fire back at the cabin. Nothing runs late.

San Francisco offers a proper night out, if not an all-night one. You can choose between mezcal and cocktail bars on Valencia Street, old saloons in North Beach, the Castro's gay bars and SoMa's warehouse clubs, though bars stop serving at 2am.

Both are excellent for the outdoors, but in very different ways. Big Bear is a mountain base: an alpine lake ringed by pine forest, with two ski areas in winter and, in summer, mountain-bike trails, the Pacific Crest Trail and the San Gorgonio Wilderness. The altitude makes the climbs feel harder.

San Francisco's outdoors is the coast. Within the city there are the Lands End cliffs, Golden Gate Park and the Presidio, and across the bridge lie the Marin Headlands, the redwoods of Muir Woods and the elephant seals of Point Reyes. Expect fog and wind rather than snow.

San Francisco is by far the better base for excursions. Napa and Sonoma are about an hour north, ferries cross to Sausalito, and Santa Cruz, Monterey and Carmel make easy outings down the coast.

From Big Bear, the winding mountain roads make every outing slow. Lake Arrowhead and the Oak Glen orchards are the realistic choices, while Palm Springs or Los Angeles mean long hours in the car.

Both work well with children, and San Francisco has a little more to fill the days. Big Bear's main draw is snow, with sledding hills and beginner ski lessons, plus the rescued bears at the Alpine Zoo and the summer alpine slide. Roomy cabins make stays easy, though the altitude and weekend traffic test patience.

San Francisco has the Exploratorium and the California Academy of Sciences, and either can fill a whole day. Add the sea lions at Fisherman's Wharf and a cable car ride, though steep hills are hard work with a pushchair and some downtown streets are rough.

Big Bear needs a car from start to finish. The steep highways up sometimes require snow chains, and the cabins are scattered along forest roads. Only the Village is walkable, with a local bus and a seasonal trolley to fill the gaps.

San Francisco works without a car. Muni, BART, the cable cars and the ferries all take one card, and parking makes a car more trouble than it is worth. The steep hills are the main challenge on foot.

Big Bear's Village has a few blocks of fudge shops, bear souvenirs and outdoor outfitters, enough for an hour's browse.

San Francisco offers department stores around Union Square and better independent shopping in Hayes Valley, on Valencia Street and in the vintage shops of Haight-Ashbury. Even so, few people come for the shopping alone.

Big Bear is the cheaper of the two, though not cheap. A cabin shared by a group cooking its own meals midweek can be reasonable, while winter weekends, lift tickets and equipment hire push costs up.

San Francisco is one of the most expensive American cities to visit. Hotel rates are high, and tax, service and tips are added to every meal out. Mission taquerias, free parks and the coastal trails only partly soften the bill.

Big Bear's stage is a community arts centre, with free lakeside concerts in summer and Bavarian bands at the autumn Oktoberfest.

San Francisco is a serious arts city. The opera and the country's oldest professional ballet company share the War Memorial Opera House, and the Symphony plays Davies Hall. SFJAZZ, the Fillmore and the free summer concerts in Stern Grove cover most other tastes.

San Francisco has a little more for a restful stay. It has Japantown's communal bathhouse, plenty of day spas and yoga studios and the calm of the Japanese Tea Garden. Calistoga's mud baths and mineral pools are about two hours north, although the city centre itself moves at a brisk, work-driven pace.

Big Bear's calm comes from the cabin itself: a private hot tub and a wood stove under the pines on a quiet midweek day. Beyond that there are only a few day spas, and winter weekends are anything but peaceful.