Oaxaca or Sayulita?

This is where the two differ most. Oaxaca sits at about 1,550m behind mountain ranges, and the Pacific at Puerto Escondido or Huatulco is several hours away by road, so a swim in the city means a hotel pool.

Sayulita is built around its bay, with gentle waves for learning to surf and warm water all year. When the town beach is crowded, Playa de los Muertos and Playa Carricitos are a short walk away, and San Pancho and Punta de Mita, with longer and quieter beaches, are within half an hour.

Oaxaca is one of the great places to eat in Mexico. It has many kinds of mole, tlayudas crisped over charcoal, the smoky grilling aisle of the Mercado 20 de Noviembre, village mezcal and thick hot chocolate in the morning, as well as chefs who build tasting menus around heirloom maize. You could plan a whole trip around meals.

Sayulita eats well but simply. The best things are fish tacos, ceviche and aguachile made with the day's catch, and the restaurants aimed at visitors mostly serve smoothie bowls and pizza. For a serious dinner you have to drive to Puerto Vallarta.

Oaxaca has two or three full days of sights. There is the UNESCO-listed centre, the gilded church of Santo Domingo with the museum holding the gold from Tomb 7, the Tamayo and textile museums, and Monte Albán twenty minutes away.

Sayulita has a plaza, a small church and a hillside cemetery, and little else to visit. Its one real cultural interest is the Huichol beadwork and yarn painting sold in local galleries, which is worth seeing but will not fill a day.

Neither is a place for clubbing, and in both an evening tends to revolve around mezcal. Oaxaca has more going on all year: tasting bars in the centre and Jalatlaco, rooftops looking over Santo Domingo, the Alcalá full of people after dinner, and salsa or DJ nights at weekends.

In Sayulita the evening starts with sunset drinks on the beach and moves to a few blocks of bars around the plaza, full of a young surf crowd in winter. Most nights end early in the rainy summer, and for real clubs people drive to Puerto Vallarta.

Sayulita's outdoors are closer to hand, and most of them are on the water. There are beginner waves in the bay and reef breaks at Punta de Mita, along with snorkelling, humpback whales from December to March and boat trips to the Marietas Islands. Footpaths through the jungle link the neighbouring coves.

Oaxaca's country is dry valley and mountain. The Sierra Norte, an hour and a half away, has village-run trails through cloud forest that are best walked over several days, and the mineral cliffs of Hierve el Agua make a good half-day out. Most of it takes more effort to reach.

Oaxaca has much more within easy reach. A single road east passes the Tule cypress, the weaving village of Teotitlán, Yagul, the stone fretwork of Mitla and the mezcal distilleries of Matatlán. The Mixteca Alta monasteries make a longer day out.

Sayulita's outings follow the coast. There is Puerto Vallarta's malecón and old town, quiet San Pancho, and San Blas with its mangrove river trips for a long day. These are pleasant towns and beaches rather than heritage sites.

Both places welcome children warmly, and neither has a zoo, aquarium or theme park, so the difference lies in what children do there. In Oaxaca they can paint alebrijes, make chocolate and watch parades, but the main outings are hot ruins with little shade, so it works better for curious older children.

Sayulita gives children the sea, with gentle surf lessons and the sheltered cove of Playa de los Muertos for younger swimmers, and a villa pool makes a good base. Pushchairs struggle in both places, on narrow cobbled pavements in Oaxaca and on dirt lanes shared with golf carts in Sayulita.

Both centres can be walked, but Oaxaca's is easier. Most of its sights lie within twenty minutes of the zócalo on a simple grid, and cheap taxis and colectivos reach the valley villages without a car.

You can cross Sayulita in ten minutes, but the streets are cobbled, dusty or steep, with almost no pavements and plenty of golf carts. Buses to Puerto Vallarta are slow, so to reach the neighbouring beaches most visitors rent a golf cart or a car.

Oaxaca is a serious place to buy crafts. The centre sells textiles, barro negro pottery, alebrijes and mezcal, and the villages where these things are made are better still, as are the weekly markets at Tlacolula and Ocotlán.

Shopping in Sayulita is an hour or two of browsing linen, swimwear and surf gear, and Huichol beadwork is the best local buy. Neither town has fashion brands or department stores.

Your money goes much further in Oaxaca. Market meals, fondas, colectivos and entry to the archaeological sites cost little. Costs rise only for boutique hotels, tasting menus and the big festival weeks.

Sayulita is priced for North American visitors. Rooms, villas, surf lessons, boat trips and yoga classes add up, especially at Christmas and Semana Santa. Taco stands and free beaches help, and in the summer low season rooms are noticeably cheaper.

Oaxaca offers far more, though much of it comes with the festivals. The Guelaguetza each July brings dancers from across the state to the hillside auditorium, and the Day of the Dead fills the streets with comparsas. At other times the state band and marimba players perform in the zócalo, and the Teatro Macedonio Alcalá hosts concerts and dance.

Sayulita has no theatre or concert hall, only bands in bars, buskers and the occasional mariachi in high season.

Sayulita is set up for unwinding. There is daily yoga in open-air shalas, week-long retreats in villas, and massage and temazcal, all fitted around morning surf and evening sunsets. The centre gets noisy in high season, so the hillsides or San Pancho make quieter bases.

In Oaxaca the tradition is the temazcal ceremony led by a healer in the valley villages, along with a few small spas and yoga studios. The calm here comes from shaded courtyards and slow mornings over hot chocolate, though fireworks interrupt it in festival weeks.