Bangkok or Pai?

Neither city is for a beach trip, and in both, swimming is something you fit around other plans. Bangkok's version is the hotel pool, often on a rooftop, and Pattaya or Bang Saen are a long day out by road.

Pai is further still from the sea, a long day's travel, but it has a river instead: tubing down the Pai River and splashing under waterfalls like Mo Paeng. For real sand, add the islands or Hua Hin to either itinerary.

This is one of the widest gaps between the two. Bangkok is a destination for eating in its own right, from boat noodles at plastic tables and Chinatown's street grills to Or Tor Kor's produce halls and restaurants reworking regional Thai cooking, with serious cocktails and Thai-grown coffee on top.

Pai eats well enough but simply. Its night market brings khao soi, skewers and Shan dishes, and its cafés serve vegan plates and smoothie bowls to long-stay travellers. Much of the menu is pitched at foreign tastes, and there is nothing to match Bangkok's depth.

Bangkok holds some of Southeast Asia's great religious buildings on Rattanakosin Island: the Emerald Buddha, the Reclining Buddha, Wat Arun's porcelain tiers. Around them are the National Museum, the Jim Thompson House and the stilt houses along the Thonburi canals.

Pai offers a half day at most: the white Buddha of Wat Phra That Mae Yen, the wartime iron bridge and the mud-brick Yunnanese village of Santichon. People go there for the valley, not the sights.

Bangkok's nights come in several forms: polished cocktail bars and clubs in Thonglor and Ekkamai, Khao San's loud street drinking, Silom's long-established gay scene and rooftop bars high over the river. They run until around two, and later in a few areas.

Pai has a friendly, scruffy version on a much smaller scale. You get reggae bars, fairy-lit gardens and the odd party out of town, nearly all young backpackers, with no real clubs and most bars quiet soon after midnight.

Pai is the clear winner outdoors. The whole point of going is the valley: rice fields ringed by forested hills, the eroded ridges of Pai Canyon, morning mist from Yun Lai, waterfalls a short ride away, and treks, rafting and Tham Lod cave further out.

Bangkok's green space is limited to parks such as Lumphini, with its monitor lizards, and the cycling paths of Bang Krachao. Khao Yai's forests and elephants are a two to three hour drive, so they need an overnight stay.

Bangkok makes a good base for day trips. Ayutthaya's ruined capital is an easy day by train, and the floating markets, the Maeklong railway market and the great stupa at Nakhon Pathom lie in the canal country to the west. Kanchanaburi's Death Railway bridge is a long but workable day.

Pai is the opposite. Apart from the Lahu and Lisu villages around Soppong, the nearby attractions are landscape, and Chiang Mai and Mae Hong Son are three hours away on winding mountain roads, so they make a change of base rather than a day out.

Bangkok has far more aimed at children: an aquarium under Siam Paragon, Safari World, Dream World, KidZania and big air-conditioned play areas in the malls, with the Skytrain and river boats as treats in themselves. The catch is the heat, the crowded pavements and slow traffic.

Pai suits older, outdoorsy children best, with farm visits, hot springs, tubing and the night market. The sick-making road up from Chiang Mai, the reliance on scooters and an evening scene geared to backpackers make it harder with small children.

Bangkok has a rail network: the air-conditioned BTS and MRT link the main districts and the airport, express boats run along the river to the Grand Palace, and ride-hailing fills the gaps. The old city and the stretches between stations are the weak points, and walking in the heat is hard.

Pai's centre takes minutes on foot, but there is no public transport out to the canyon, waterfalls or springs. You rent a scooter, which is risky on the hill roads if you are new to riding, or hire a songthaew or join a tour.

For shopping, Bangkok is in a different league. You have the chain of malls around Siam and Ratchaprasong, ICONSIAM on the river, Pratunam's wholesale clothing, and Chatuchak's thousands of weekend stalls, plus Thai silk, celadon and benjarong to take home.

Pai's shopping happens on the evening walking street: cotton trousers, woven bags, hill-tribe textiles and handmade jewellery. Much of it is local and fun to browse, but the stalls repeat one another, and anything bigger waits for Chiang Mai.

Both are very cheap by Western standards, and the difference lies in where the money goes. In Bangkok a modest budget buys comfort, such as a rooftop-pool hotel, taxis and tailoring, and only imported drink, rooftop bars and the Grand Palace fee push costs up.

Pai is cheaper still at the simple end. Bungalows, night-market dinners and scooter rental cost very little, and most sights are free, which is why people stay for weeks. Prices are a little higher than in ordinary northern towns, though.

Bangkok has staged performance worth planning an evening around. Khon masked drama at the Sala Chalermkrung and the National Theatre is the highlight, along with classical dance, the symphony orchestra at the Thailand Cultural Centre and the ritual music of Muay Thai at Rajadamnern.

Pai has no stage of any kind. What it does have is live music most nights: acoustic sets and blues or reggae jams in the bars, informal and uneven, something to come across rather than seek out.

Both are good places to unwind, but in different ways. Bangkok's strength is massage and spas: the traditional school at Wat Pho, late-opening foot-massage shops on every street and refined hotel spas by the river. You take your calm in short doses, though, against the noise and traffic.

Pai offers the slowness Bangkok lacks. You can soak in natural hot springs such as Tha Pai, join a yoga or meditation retreat, or simply lie in a hammock looking out over the rice fields. The treatments are simple rather than luxurious, and the spring haze takes the edge off.