Bethany Beach or Rehoboth Beach?

There is very little to choose between them. Both have a wide pale beach with lifeguards, moderate surf and the same short summer of warm water. The difference is the atmosphere.

Bethany's sand feels quieter and more residential, with Delaware Seashore State Park, Indian River Inlet and sleepy Fenwick Island nearby for a change of scene. Rehoboth's beach is crowded near the boardwalk on summer weekends, but the tall dunes of Cape Henlopen at the edge of town give you open space within easy reach.

Bethany Beach eats like a classic shore town: steamed crabs on paper at picnic tables, fried clams and boardwalk fries. The choice is small and much of it opens only in season.

Rehoboth has the same crab houses and taffy stands, plus a cluster of chef-driven restaurants along Rehoboth Avenue, the legacy of its years as Washington's summer escape, and a serious craft beer tradition. Many Bethany visitors drive up to Rehoboth for their better dinners.

Neither town is a sightseeing destination, and both grew out of religious camps. Bethany has its carved totem pole, a small history collection and the wartime watchtowers along the shore. Rehoboth adds the Rehoboth Art League's galleries and garden in Henlopen Acres, plus a few camp-meeting cottages. For real history, visitors from either town go to Lewes, which is ten minutes from Rehoboth and much further from Bethany.

Bethany Beach has almost no nightlife. Evenings mean a stroll on the boardwalk and dinner, and the town has no bar district at all. Anyone who wants a late night drives to Dewey Beach or Ocean City.

Rehoboth has a proper social scene of its own, built on its long history as an LGBTQ resort: piano lounges, drag nights and bars around Baltimore Avenue. Dewey's loud deck bars are only a couple of miles away. Even so, it is a bar town rather than a club town, and the scene shrinks sharply once summer ends.

The scenery is much the same: low dunes, salt marsh and shallow bays for kayaking, with nothing remotely hilly. The difference is what lies closest to each town.

Bethany is nearer to the fishing and surf at Indian River Inlet and a little nearer to the wild ponies of Assateague. Rehoboth has Cape Henlopen right on its edge, with the coast's tallest dunes, the Gordons Pond trail and pine woods, and a cycle trail runs from town through wetland to Lewes.

Both towns offer the same list of pleasant small-town outings, so the difference is mostly distance. Rehoboth is ten minutes from Lewes, which makes the ferry to Cape May an easy full day out. From Bethany, Lewes is a 40-minute drive, but Bethany is better placed for trips south to Berlin's Victorian main street, Ocean City and Chincoteague.

Both are easy, safe family resorts, but they suit different children. Rehoboth has a small old-fashioned amusement park on the boardwalk with gentle rides and arcades, and Cape Henlopen's nature centre and calm bay water are on its doorstep.

Bethany is simpler: guarded sand, bike rides, crabbing and free family evenings at the bandstand, with rides and water parks a drive away. Some parents prefer it for exactly that reason, especially since Rehoboth's weekend crowds and parking test the patience.

Rehoboth is easier without a car. Its flat grid puts downtown, restaurants, the beach and the boardwalk within a short walk. A seasonal trolley serves Dewey and the outlets, and the bike trail runs on to Lewes.

In Bethany you can walk or cycle from your rental to the sand and the few shops in town, but supermarkets and most restaurants outside the centre need a drive. Both towns are reached by car on the same congested summer highway, with no train to either.

The tax-free outlet centres that draw shoppers from several states sit right outside Rehoboth, and its downtown adds independent clothing boutiques, home shops, galleries and bookshops. Bethany's own shopping is a short row of surf shops and gift stores, so its visitors drive to those same outlets.

Both towns are expensive in July and August and much cheaper in June, September and beyond. The costs come in different forms. Bethany is mostly weekly beach houses and condos with few hotels, so self-catering keeps costs down. Rehoboth has more hotel rooms, though they carry weekend premiums, and you also pay for parking.

In Bethany, live performance means the bandstand: free summer concerts by cover bands and brass groups with families on blankets, and nothing else in town.

Rehoboth has its own bandstand concerts, plus a local theatre company staging musicals and cabaret for much of the year, piano acts in the bars, and autumn festivals of film and jazz. It is still modest, but there is something on beyond July and August.

You won't find much in the way of treatments in either town, so a restful stay is built from walks, books and the sea. In Bethany that means leafy residential streets with little through traffic, a rental house with a porch to read on, and an evening boardwalk where you mostly hear the surf. The few day spas and massage studios are an extra, not a reason to come.

Rehoboth's quiet comes with a bit more laid on. You can take a morning bike ride under the pines of Cape Henlopen and then go to a yoga class or book a massage at one of the day spas or hotel spas in town. It suits people who want calm without feeling cut off.