Cape May or Charleston?

These are equally good beach places, but they work very differently. Cape May's sand runs right along the town, so from most guesthouses you can walk to the beach, the promenade behind it and the gentle, lifeguarded surf. The cost is a short season and cooler water. Quieter Cape May Point and the hunt for Cape May diamonds at Sunset Beach add some variety.

Charleston's beaches are out on the barrier islands, about half an hour away, so a beach day there means taking the car. In return you get warmer water over a longer season and a choice of moods: surfy Folly Beach, residential Sullivan's Island, resort-style Isle of Palms. The sea there is tidal and greenish rather than clear.

Charleston is clearly the better place to eat. It has a cuisine of its own, Lowcountry cooking with West African and Gullah Geechee roots, and you can follow it from townhouse dining rooms to whole-hog barbecue and roasted oysters, with plenty of cocktail bars and breweries as well.

Cape May has excellent fish straight off its own boats, especially scallops and local oysters, and long porch breakfasts. Away from seafood, though, the choice soon drops to fudge and boardwalk snacks, and many kitchens close in winter.

Both towns are best seen by simply walking their old streets, but Charleston has much more to see. Its Georgian and antebellum peninsula is grander and older, and its history goes deeper: house museums that show the enslaved people's quarters next to the ballrooms, the boat out to Fort Sumter, and museums about the city's role in the slave trade.

Cape May's appeal is the sheer number of gingerbread Victorian cottages. You see them on walking or trolley tours, along with the Emlen Physick Estate and a climb up the lighthouse, and a day or two covers it all.

Neither town has much clubbing, but Charleston at least has a proper night out. Upper King Street has rooftop bars, oyster bars and loud pubs that stay busy until late at weekends, and there are quieter wine bars in the French Quarter and beach bars on Folly.

Cape May's evenings mean a hotel bar or a pub with a cover band near the mall, and most people are in bed by midnight. Anyone after noise drives up to the Wildwoods.

Both are flat coastal country with wildlife as the draw, but the wildlife is different. Cape May sits on one of North America's great migration routes: hawks and monarch butterflies pour over the Point and Higbee Beach in autumn, and boats go out to see dolphins in summer and whales in the cooler months.

Charleston's outdoors is the Lowcountry marsh. You paddle tidal creeks among dolphins, walk under live oaks hung with Spanish moss, and look for alligators in the ACE Basin or Francis Marion forest. In summer the mosquitoes come with it.

Charleston has more good outings within easy reach. The Ashley River plantations, with their gardens and the history of slavery, are about half an hour away. Savannah's squares make a full day, and Beaufort and the Gullah sea islands are a gentler trip.

Cape May's best outing is the ferry across Delaware Bay to colonial Lewes. The Wildwoods and Atlantic City are easy, but Philadelphia is a tiring round trip.

Cape May has the edge with young children, mostly because everything is close. The beach, the bike rides along the promenade, crabbing on the bay, the dolphin boats and the free county zoo all fit into easy days, and the Wildwoods' amusement piers are nearby when the children want rides. One thing to check: some historic B&Bs don't accept small children.

Charleston has better rainy-day attractions: the aquarium, the Children's Museum and the aircraft carrier at Patriots Point. But every beach day needs a drive, house tours bore younger children, and summer heat cuts days short.

They are much the same here: a flat, walkable old centre, and a car for anything beyond it. In Cape May the historic district, the promenade and the Washington Street Mall are close together and best covered by bike, with a seasonal trolley in summer. Getting there means driving down the Garden State Parkway or taking the Delaware ferry, as there is no passenger rail.

Charleston's peninsula is a little larger, and pedicabs and a free shuttle bus help you get round it. Ride-hailing covers trips to the beaches and plantations, but midday summer heat soon cuts how far anyone wants to walk.

Charleston is the better place to shop. King Street changes as you walk it, with antiques at the lower end, fashion brands in the middle and independent design shops further up. At the City Market, Gullah artisans weave sweetgrass baskets, a craft you won't find in Cape May.

Cape May's shopping is three pedestrian blocks of boutiques, bookshops and taffy shops, plus a few galleries. It fills a rainy afternoon.

Neither is cheap, but Charleston is a little easier on the budget. Its old streets, the Battery and the island beaches cost nothing to enjoy, and staying in Mount Pleasant or the suburbs brings rooms down, though you then drive in every day.

Cape May in summer stacks up extra costs: minimum-stay rules at B&Bs, beach tags and paid parking all add to the bill. The ways round them are coming in spring or autumn, renting a house as a group, or staying in the Wildwoods and visiting for the day.

Charleston has the stronger programme, and it peaks in late spring with Spoleto Festival USA, more than two weeks of opera, dance, theatre and jazz. For the rest of the year there are plays at the Dock Street Theatre, the symphony at the Gaillard Center and Gullah storytelling and song.

Cape May runs on small-scale theatre, a long-running chamber music festival in its churches, and summer concerts in Convention Hall. That's enough for a pleasant evening, but it isn't a reason to come.

Neither has a bathing tradition, and both relax you mainly through their slow pace. In Cape May that means rocking chairs on porches, afternoon tea in guesthouse parlours and sunsets over the bay, and it works best in spring and autumn, away from crowded summer weekends.

Charleston has more choice of spas, including resort spas out on Kiawah Island. Its quiet moments are in walled gardens, church courtyards and evenings at White Point Garden.