Cape May or Ocean City, Maryland?

Both have Atlantic sand, lifeguards and the same short season, with the sea around 24°C by August. For a pure beach week Ocean City has the edge. It has about 16km of wide, soft sand with access at the end of nearly every street, and the wild, dune-backed shore of Assateague is a short drive south.

Cape May's beach is a narrower strip in front of the promenade, with quieter sand at Cape May Point. At Sunset Beach on the bay you can hunt for the quartz pebbles known as Cape May diamonds. It is fine for a swim and a stroll, but there is less of it.

The two eat about equally well, and both are built around seafood, but in different styles. Cape May relies on its working fishing port. Scallops, flounder and oysters are served in Victorian dining rooms as well as dockside shacks, and breakfast on the porch is part of the stay.

Ocean City's signature is the Maryland crab feast: steamed blue crabs with Old Bay, eaten off brown paper. After that come vinegar fries, frozen custard and caramel popcorn from long-running family stands on the boardwalk. Away from the seafront, the choice is mostly diners and chain restaurants along the highway.

Here Cape May is clearly the richer place. The whole town is a National Historic Landmark district of gingerbread cottages and porch-fronted hotels. The Emlen Physick Estate, the trolley tours and the lighthouse climb add up to a day or two of sightseeing.

Ocean City's heritage is essentially its boardwalk, plus the Life-Saving Station Museum and the old carousel at the inlet. For historic streets, Ocean City visitors have to leave town, for example to Berlin on the mainland.

Ocean City is the place for a night out. Open-air bayside bars with sand floors draw sunset crowds, and a long run of dance and sports bars on the Coastal Highway stays busy until closing at 2am in summer. The crowd is young and loud, especially when the graduates arrive in early June.

Cape May winds down early. A few pubs and hotel bars around the mall have a cover band, and most are quiet by midnight. Visitors who want more drive up to the Wildwoods.

Both sit in flat coastal country of marsh, dune and bay, with no hills. Cape May has the stronger pull because it sits at the tip of the peninsula, which makes it one of North America's great migration sites. Hawks, songbirds and monarch butterflies pour through Higbee Beach and the state park in autumn, and boats from the harbour go out to see dolphins and whales.

Ocean City's best nature lies just outside town on Assateague, where wild ponies graze among the dunes and pines. Its back bays are better for active water sports such as paddleboarding and jet skis, and the town is a base for offshore marlin fishing.

The day trips are about equal in number but go in different directions, and the two towns share one: the Delaware Bay ferry links Cape May with Lewes. From Cape May you can also reach the Wildwoods' boardwalk and Atlantic City, and Philadelphia's museums if you are ready for a long day.

Ocean City looks to the small towns of the Delmarva Peninsula instead. There are Berlin and Snow Hill, Chincoteague and its ponies, the restaurants of Rehoboth Beach and, if you stretch the day, St Michaels on the Chesapeake. No big city is within easy reach.

Ocean City is built more fully around children. It has two amusement parks on the boardwalk, water parks, go-karts, mini-golf every few blocks, and condos with kitchens that make long stays easy. Avoid early June, when graduating teenagers take over parts of town.

Cape May suits younger children who enjoy gentler things: surrey bikes on the promenade, crabbing, dolphin boats and the free county zoo. Some B&Bs in the historic district do not take small children, though, and rides mean a drive to the Wildwoods.

Neither town has a train, and both are easiest to reach by car. Once you are there, Cape May is easier to manage. The historic district, the promenade and the Washington Street Mall are a short, flat walk apart, and bicycles do the rest.

Ocean City stretches about 16km along a single busy highway, so walking only works around the boardwalk and the inlet. The summer bus helps, but most visitors keep the car all week.

Neither is a shopping destination, but Cape May is better for browsing. The pedestrian Washington Street Mall has independent boutiques, bookshops and home stores, and there are antique dealers and galleries in the side streets. Ocean City offers boardwalk T-shirts, surf shops and an outlet centre over the bridge for mainstream brands.

Ocean City is noticeably easier on the budget. It is a resort for middle-income families, with a free public beach, older motels a few blocks back, shared condos and a cheap town bus.

In summer, Cape May's Victorian B&Bs and oceanfront hotels charge premium rates and often set minimum stays, and you pay for beach tags and parking on top. To save, either stay in the Wildwoods and visit for the day, or come in spring or autumn.

Cape May has a modest but genuine stage life. A professional company performs in a converted church, another is devoted to historic American drama, and a chamber music festival with decades behind it fills churches with recitals in late spring and early summer. Ocean City offers touring comedians and tribute bands at the convention centre, free concerts at the bandstand and cover bands in the bars, which is light entertainment rather than theatre.

Cape May is the more restful of the two, especially in spring and autumn. There are rocking chairs on the porches, afternoon tea in guesthouse parlours, sunsets over the bay and a few day spas in the hotels. In summer Ocean City is noisy with traffic and late bar crowds. Its quiet moments come in the shoulder months or on an early walk along the beaches by the northern condos.