Cape May or Portland, Maine?

This is where Cape May is strongest. The continuous town beach runs along the promenade with lifeguarded sections, and by August the water is warm enough to swim for as long as you like. Cape May Point adds quieter sand, and on the bay side people hunt for the polished quartz pebbles called Cape May diamonds.

Portland's beaches are lovely to look at, but few people swim at them. The best strands, such as Crescent, Higgins and Pine Point, are a drive south. Old Orchard Beach, with its pier and arcades, does the job the Wildwoods do for Cape May. With the sea several degrees colder, most visitors wade and sunbathe.

Both towns live off the sea, but Portland makes far more of it. Cape May's fishing fleet brings scallops, flounder and oysters to its dockside shacks and Victorian dining rooms, and breakfast on a porch is a real pleasure. Beyond the seafood, though, the choice comes down to fudge, taffy and boardwalk snacks.

Portland is a city people visit to eat. Lobster rolls and Maine oysters sit alongside chef-run restaurants, bakeries and potato-flour doughnuts. Its brewery taprooms in East Bayside and along Industrial Way give it a drinking culture that Cape May's few nearby vineyards and breweries cannot match.

Neither needs more than a day or two, but they feel different. In Cape May the whole town is the attraction: a National Historic Landmark district of gingerbread Victorian cottages, best seen on a walking or trolley tour, with the Physick Estate and the lighthouse climb as the main stops.

Portland's history is built in brick and granite rather than painted wood. The Old Port was rebuilt after the fire of 1866, and the city adds an art museum strong on Winslow Homer, Longfellow's childhood home and Victoria Mansion. There is more to see indoors in Portland and more street architecture in Cape May.

Neither is a late-night place, but Portland gives you more to do after dinner. The pubs, oyster bars and cocktail bars of the Old Port along Fore and Wharf Streets, the brewery taprooms and the quieter bars of the West End and Munjoy Hill make a good evening out.

Evenings in Cape May mean porches and pubs: a few hotel bars and cover bands around the mall, with the town mostly asleep by midnight. If you want something louder, you drive up to the Wildwoods.

Both are low-lying coastal places, so the difference is in what you go out to see. Cape May sits at the tip of a peninsula, which makes it a major bird-migration site. In autumn, hawks and monarch butterflies pour through Higbee Beach and the state park, and there are dolphin boats and kayaking in the back-bay marshes.

Portland's outdoors is centred on Casco Bay, with island ferries for walking and cycling, schooner and seal cruises, and clifftop paths at Two Lights. It also has some hills within reach. Bradbury Mountain is close, and the White Mountains offer serious hiking, which flat Cape May cannot.

Portland is better placed for outings. To the south lie Kennebunkport, Ogunquit's cliff path and colonial Portsmouth. To the north are Freeport, Bath and the harbour towns of Boothbay and Camden, so you could fill a week without repeating yourself.

Cape May's best outing is the ferry across Delaware Bay to Lewes. Beyond that, the Wildwoods and Atlantic City offer boardwalks, and Philadelphia is a long, tiring day away.

Cape May is the easier town for a family, because everything a child's day needs sits close together. A morning on the beach can turn into an afternoon climbing the lighthouse, crabbing on the bay or joining a programme at the nature centre, and the county zoo is only twenty minutes up the road. When the children want rides and arcades, the Wildwoods' amusement piers are a few minutes north, so the town itself stays calm. Check before booking in the historic district, though, because some B&Bs there turn away small children.

Portland needs more planning. Its best outings are the Children's Museum and Theatre of Maine, a ferry out to one of the islands, and the forts and tide pools at Fort Williams Park. Old Orchard Beach's pier and amusement park are a drive south. What it lacks is a swimming beach on the doorstep, and it has no zoo or sizeable aquarium either. Add the long Maine winter, and a family trip there really belongs in July or August.

Both have compact, walkable centres and get awkward beyond them. Cape May's historic district, promenade and Washington Street Mall are flat and easy by bike, though parking is a struggle in summer. With no passenger rail, almost everyone arrives by car or on the Delaware ferry.

Portland's peninsula is just as walkable, if steeper in places, and it has two things Cape May lacks: ferries to the islands and a train to Boston. For the beaches and coast towns, you will want a car in either place.

Freeport is what puts Portland ahead. About twenty minutes north, a whole town of outlet stores is clustered around the L.L.Bean flagship, and it is a real draw for outdoor clothing and gear. Back in the Old Port, Exchange, Fore and Middle Streets are lined with independent boutiques selling Maine pottery, woollens and art.

Cape May's shopping fits into the three pedestrian blocks of the Washington Street Mall, with its bookshops, kitchen stores and fudge shops. There are also some antique dealers and Victorian gift shops in the historic district. You won't find department stores or luxury labels in either town.

Both are expensive in summer, and Cape May is the harder of the two on a budget. Its Victorian B&Bs and oceanfront hotels charge peak rates with minimum stays, and beach tags and paid parking add up, so many visitors stay in the Wildwoods instead.

Portland is costly too, especially in high summer and on foliage weekends. Walking instead of driving and eating at seafood shacks and brewery food trucks keep a stay more manageable. In both places, the real savings come outside the peak season.

Portland has the fuller calendar. The Portland Symphony Orchestra at Merrill Auditorium, professional theatre at Portland Stage and touring bands at the historic State Theatre give you a choice of evenings out.

Cape May's strength is small-scale theatre, staged in a converted church and in Victorian settings, plus a long-running chamber music festival in late spring and early summer. It makes a charming evening, but there is no orchestra, and the programme shrinks to a few weekend shows outside the main season.

Neither has a bathing culture, and in both the rest comes from the slow pace rather than from treatments. Cape May's version is Victorian: rocking chairs on wide porches, afternoon tea and sunsets over the bay, best in spring and autumn when the summer weekends are over.

Portland's is more about the sea: a ferry to a quiet island, a walk on the Eastern Promenade at dusk, perhaps a bracing dip followed by a waterfront sauna.