Carmel-by-the-Sea or Napa?

Neither town is for swimming, but only Carmel has a beach at all. Carmel Beach is a long curve of white sand below the cypress trees at the foot of the village, good for walks, sunset picnics and children digging, even though the cold water and strong surf keep almost everyone out of the sea.

Napa has no shore of its own. The coast at Bodega Bay is more than an hour away and just as cold, so swimming in summer means a resort pool or a drive out to Lake Berryessa in the eastern hills.

Both eat well for their size, but in Napa food is the whole point of the trip. Its Cabernet estates, the Pinot Noir and sparkling wine of Carneros and the famous restaurants of Yountville and St Helena draw people from across the country, and the Oxbow Public Market in town adds oyster counters, cheese and bakeries.

Carmel offers a smaller, more intimate version: candlelit French and Italian dining rooms in cottages, Dungeness crab and sand dabs from Monterey Bay, and Santa Lucia Highlands Pinot poured in the village tasting rooms. Neither does cheap food well, though Napa's taquerias at least give you somewhere casual to eat.

Carmel has the stronger single sight in the Carmel Mission, the stone basilica where Junípero Serra is buried. Its 1920s storybook cottages, the timber houses of the artists' colony and Robinson Jeffers' Tor House make the village itself worth a slow walk.

Napa's sights are smaller and more spread out: the Victorian fronts along First Street, the di Rosa art estate in Carneros and the old stone wineries up the valley. Neither has a major museum, and a morning in one or a day in the other covers it.

An evening in Carmel is a glass in a tasting room before it shuts, a long dinner and perhaps a nightcap in a hotel lounge. By ten the village streets are silent, and the nearest bars are on Monterey's Alvarado Street, which are fairly modest too.

Napa's evenings run a little longer. After dinner there are wine bars downtown and a few cocktail bars and pubs along the riverfront and First Street, which fill up on summer weekends. There are no clubs, but San Francisco is about an hour away for a real night out.

This is where Carmel pulls clearly ahead. Point Lobos, five minutes away, has granite headlands, seals and sea otters in the coves, and grey whales offshore in winter and spring. Beyond it the Big Sur coast unfolds towards Bixby Bridge and the redwood canyons of Pfeiffer Big Sur, and Monterey Bay adds kayaking and kelp-forest diving.

Napa's landscape is gentler and farmed: a floor of vines between the Mayacamas and Vaca ranges, balloon flights at dawn, a cycling trail along the valley, and walks in Skyline Wilderness Park, among the redwoods of Bothe-Napa and up Mount St Helena. It is lovely, but it is a vineyard valley rather than a wild coast.

Napa is much better placed for days out. Sonoma's plaza and mission are about half an hour over the hills, Healdsburg and the Russian River valleys about an hour, and San Francisco is about an hour away by car or by ferry from Vallejo, with Sausalito and Berkeley on the way. Sacramento's state capitol and old town are another option.

Carmel's best outings are close by: Cannery Row and the adobes of old Monterey, the Victorian houses and lighthouse of Pacific Grove, and the tasting rooms of Carmel Valley. Salinas and San Juan Bautista are worth the drive, but San Francisco is two and a half hours away, which makes it a long day.

Carmel works better with children, mostly because of what lies nearby. The Monterey Bay Aquarium, with its otters and kelp forest tank, can fill a day, and the tide pools at Point Lobos and Pacific Grove keep school-age children busy, even if the sea is too rough for paddling.

Napa is built around tastings and long dinners, which bore most children. The theme and animal park in Vallejo, the geyser and petting farm near Calistoga and the hotel pools help, but long drives and summer heat make it hard going with small children.

Carmel's square-mile grid is easy to cover on foot, from the shops of Ocean Avenue down the steep hill to the beach, and Point Lobos is only minutes away by car. The lanes have no street lights and few pavements, though, so walking back after dinner is dark. You still need a car for Big Sur and the aquarium.

Napa's downtown is just as compact, but the wineries and valley towns are spread along some 50km of road. Since tasting and driving do not mix, many visitors pay for a driver or a tour, and the main road slows to a crawl on summer weekends.

Neither is a real shopping destination, and the difference is in what you come home with. Carmel is for browsing: an unusually dense run of galleries of plein-air painting, photography and sculpture around Ocean Avenue and Dolores Street, with cashmere and jewellery boutiques tucked into the courtyards.

Napa is for buying wine, often whole cases shipped home from the cellars you visited. Add food gifts and olive oil from the Oxbow Public Market, cookware along St Helena's main street and an outlet mall for familiar brands.

Both are expensive, and on cost there is little to choose between them. In Carmel the money goes on boutique inns, cottages and refined dinners, but the best of the place is free: the beach, the village streets and the coastal walks. Staying in Monterey or Seaside cuts the cost of a bed.

Napa adds costs of its own, from tastings at the well-known estates to a driver for the day, and its famous restaurants are special-occasion meals. Chain hotels further south, the taquerias and the market hall make it cheaper, but less of what people come for is free.

Carmel's stage leans classical, with an artists' colony tradition behind it. The Bach Festival has filled its summers with Baroque concerts since 1935, the Sunset Center hosts recitals and speakers, and the open-air Forest Theater stages plays among the pines. Each September the Monterey Jazz Festival takes place next door. Out of season, expect an occasional concert, some community theatre or a guitarist in a wine bar.

Napa leans towards touring bands, singers and comedy, at the 1880 Opera House and a restored Art Deco theatre. A summer classical festival plays in winery venues, and a large rock and pop festival fills the fairgrounds in late spring. Outside those seasons the programme is thin, but San Francisco is close enough for an evening of opera or an orchestra.

Napa has a bathing tradition that Carmel lacks. The volcanic mud baths and mineral pools of Calistoga have drawn visitors since the nineteenth century, and the resorts in Carneros and the hills have large spas, so a soak after a day of tastings is part of the trip.

In Carmel the calm comes from the setting: misty mornings, dark and quiet evenings, and the spas of the Pebble Beach and Carmel Valley resorts, with no hot springs. It suits a slow weekend by the fire better than a stay built around spa treatments.