Monterey or San Francisco?

Neither town is for swimming. The water stays cold off both, so the shore is for walking and watching the sea. In Monterey that means the white sand and cypresses of Carmel Beach and the dunes at Asilomar. On a sunny autumn day, families paddle near the wharf and kayakers and divers head out into the calmer bay.

San Francisco's shore is wilder and more urban. Ocean Beach is long, often foggy and dangerous to enter. Baker Beach has the Golden Gate Bridge as its backdrop, and the evening ritual there is a bonfire, not a dip.

San Francisco is one of the country's great places to eat, and Monterey is not in the same league. Across the city you can eat Cantonese food in Chinatown, Italian bakeries in North Beach, Mexican cooking in the Mission and sourdough and cioppino on the waterfront. The Ferry Building farmers' market and top-tier tasting menus round it out.

Monterey's cooking is narrower but rooted in its place. It means squid, sand dabs and Dungeness crab from the bay, vegetables from the Salinas Valley and Pinot Noir from the Santa Lucia Highlands. The catch is finding it: skip the chowder bowls on the wharf and look in Old Monterey, Pacific Grove or Carmel.

San Francisco gives a sightseer much more to fill the days with. There are landmarks known worldwide, from Alcatraz to the cable cars and the Golden Gate Bridge, and real museums in SFMOMA, the Legion of Honor and the Asian Art Museum. Neighbourhoods such as Chinatown and the Castro carry their own history.

Monterey's history is older but small in scale. It was once the capital of Spanish and Mexican California, and the adobes of the State Historic Park, the Custom House and the Carmel Mission take a morning or two rather than several days.

San Francisco offers a real night out and Monterey mostly does not. The city's evenings are spread across several districts: mezcal and dive bars in the Mission, old saloons in North Beach, the Castro's gay bars and warehouse clubs in SoMa.

In Monterey, an evening means dinner and perhaps a glass in one of the wine bars or brewpubs on Alvarado Street, with the town quiet well before midnight. Anyone wanting a club would have to drive north.

Both sit in superb coastal country, but they show it differently. In Monterey the draw is the sea and its animals. The deep submarine canyon brings whales close to the harbour, sea lions crowd the wharf, and the cycle path to Lovers Point runs beside the kelp. Point Lobos and the redwood canyons of Big Sur are a short drive south.

San Francisco's nature starts inside the city, with Golden Gate Park, the Presidio and the Lands End cliffs. Across the bridge are the Marin Headlands, the old-growth redwoods of Muir Woods and the trails of Mount Tamalpais, all close by. Point Reyes with its elk adds a full day out.

San Francisco is the better base for day trips. Napa and Sonoma are about an hour away, ferries run across to Sausalito and Tiburon, Berkeley is a short train ride, and the coast south to Half Moon Bay and Santa Cruz is easy to reach.

Monterey's outings are lovely but few and close by: Carmel's cottages and galleries, Pacific Grove, the Carmel Valley wineries, Steinbeck's Salinas and the mission at San Juan Bautista. San Francisco is technically possible from there, but it deserves its own stay rather than a long return drive.

Children are equally well served, each around a different kind of big attraction. Monterey has the Bay Aquarium, with its towering kelp tank, sea otters and jellyfish, and adds tide pools, whale boats and Dennis the Menace Park in a small, safe town where you will still want a car.

San Francisco answers with the Exploratorium and the California Academy of Sciences, plus the zoo and cable car rides. Parents will need more energy there, for steep hills with a pushchair and some downtown streets they may rather avoid on foot.

San Francisco can be done entirely without a car. Muni, BART, the F-line streetcars, the cable cars and the bay ferries all run on one card, though the hills make some short walks hard work.

Monterey is the opposite. The flat recreation trail makes the waterfront from Fisherman's Wharf to the aquarium easy on foot or by bike, but buses are sparse. Big Sur, Point Lobos, the 17-Mile Drive and Carmel Valley really need a car.

San Francisco has proper shopping streets. Union Square has the department stores and flagship brands, while Hayes Valley, Valencia Street, Fillmore Street and Haight-Ashbury cover design boutiques, vintage and bookshops.

Monterey's own shops are mostly sea-otter gifts and saltwater taffy along Cannery Row. For better browsing, head next door to Carmel's galleries and boutiques or Pacific Grove's antique shops.

Both are expensive, but Monterey is a little easier on the wallet. Hotels there are dear on summer weekends and during the August classic-car week. Still, chain motels in Seaside and Marina and midweek winter stays offer a way out, and the coastal trail and the tide pools cost nothing.

San Francisco is harder going. Central hotels are costly, especially during conferences, and tax, service charges and tips pile onto restaurant bills. What helps is cheap food in Mission taquerias and Richmond dim sum houses, affordable public transport and museum free days.

Monterey's music comes in bursts, while San Francisco's runs all year. The peninsula has two moments worth timing a trip around. One is the Monterey Jazz Festival, held every September since 1958 on the fairgrounds that also hosted the 1967 Pop Festival. The other is the summer Carmel Bach Festival in local churches and halls. Outside those weeks there is little beyond the Monterey Symphony and touring acts at the Golden State Theatre.

San Francisco gives far more choice on any night of the year. The Opera, the Symphony and San Francisco Ballet, the oldest professional ballet company in the country, all perform at the Civic Center. The American Conservatory Theater stages serious drama, SFJAZZ has its own hall in Hayes Valley, and the Fillmore still carries its psychedelic-era history.

Neither place has a bathing tradition, and both are equally good for slowing down, in different ways. Monterey's calm comes from the place itself, with foggy mornings on the bay, shoreline walks in Pacific Grove and vineyard resort spas in sunny Carmel Valley.

San Francisco feels more hectic, but it has a long-established Japanese-style communal bathhouse in Japantown. Calistoga's mud baths and mineral pools are reachable in about two hours.