Virginia Beach or Wilmington?

These are two well-matched Atlantic beach destinations, and the difference is how you reach the sand. In Virginia Beach it sits right in front of the hotels, with a long wide strip and a boardwalk at the Oceanfront. The calm Chesapeake Bay beaches around First Landing suit small children, and Sandbridge has dunes for those who want fewer towers.

In Wilmington the city is on a river, so every beach day starts with a drive. In return you can choose between three beach towns: polished Wrightsville, casual Carolina Beach with its boardwalk, and quieter Kure Beach. The water there is a couple of degrees warmer and stays swimmable for longer.

Wilmington eats a little better. Its downtown has a cluster of modern Southern restaurants in old brick buildings and a craft brewery scene, and eastern Carolina whole-hog barbecue adds a second regional tradition alongside the shrimp and oysters.

Virginia Beach has excellent seafood, especially Lynnhaven oysters and Chesapeake blue crab, but the best of it is out by the inlet. The resort strip is mostly chains and buffets. Neither city has much range beyond its own coast.

This is one of Wilmington's clearer advantages. Its historic district of antebellum and Victorian houses, the Bellamy Mansion and the riverside warehouses of the old port are pleasant to wander for a couple of days, and the Battleship North Carolina adds a major sight.

Virginia Beach is a resort first. Its main sights are the Cape Henry landing site and the 1792 lighthouse, plus the Neptune statue on the boardwalk, and most serious sightseeing happens on day trips up the peninsula.

Both offer casual, friendly nights out with no real clubbing, but in different settings. In Virginia Beach that means beach and rooftop bars along Atlantic Avenue, full of vacationers and sailors in summer and quiet off-season, with Town Center for cocktails. Wilmington's nights centre on the downtown streets around Front Street. Thanks to university students they keep going on weekends outside the beach season, and the beach bars take over in summer.

Virginia Beach's outdoors is about open space and big wildlife. First Landing has trails through maritime forest and cypress swamp, and the long empty barrier spit of Back Bay and False Cape, reached on foot or by bike, fills with migrating waterfowl in winter. In summer, kayak trips go out to watch the dolphins feeding offshore.

Wilmington's nature is more intimate and more unusual. Masonboro Island is undeveloped and reached only by boat or kayak, which makes it the local favourite for paddling and birdwatching among the tidal creeks and salt marsh. In Carolina Beach State Park the Venus flytrap grows wild in the pine savanna, and it grows wild nowhere else except this corner of the Carolinas. Neither city has a hill to climb, and the surfing and fishing are much alike in both.

Virginia Beach is far better placed for day trips. Colonial Williamsburg, Jamestown and Yorktown are all about an hour away and together make an outstanding history day. Norfolk's waterfront is close, and the Wright brothers' site at Kitty Hawk is a longer drive south.

From Wilmington the outings are smaller and gentler: Southport's porches, the ferry to car-free Bald Head Island, and the Civil War earthworks at Fort Fisher. These are pleasant days out, but none matches the pull of the Historic Triangle.

Virginia Beach is built for family vacations. The Virginia Aquarium, a water park, mini-golf and the boardwalk are all in town, and the gentle bay beaches suit toddlers. A large theme park and Colonial Williamsburg's costumed trades are within an hour.

Wilmington works well too, with old-fashioned rides on the Carolina Beach boardwalk, the aquarium at Fort Fisher and the battleship decks to explore. But the beaches are a drive from town, and rip currents on rough days need watching.

Both need a car once you leave your base, so what matters is where you stay. At Virginia Beach, staying on the Oceanfront lets you walk or cycle the boardwalk and take the summer trolley. In Wilmington, the downtown and historic district are the walkable part, and the beaches are 15km or more away by road.

Neither is a shopping destination, but the character differs. Virginia Beach is mall and chain territory, with Town Center, a big regional mall and the surf and souvenir shops of the Oceanfront. Wilmington's Front Street and the old Cotton Exchange have independent boutiques, galleries, bookshops and antique dealers, which make for more interesting browsing.

Costs are much the same and follow the same seasonal pattern. Beachfront rooms and rental houses are expensive in summer in both, and a hire car is hard to avoid. Virginia Beach's oceanfront hotels fall sharply out of season. In Wilmington, staying in the city rather than at the beach keeps costs reasonable, and casual seafood and barbecue are fair value.

The two are close here, but the styles differ. Virginia Beach is about summer: touring rock and country acts at the big amphitheatre and free concerts on the boardwalk stages. For the opera and symphony you go to Norfolk, half an hour away.

Wilmington's scene is more its own. Thalian Hall, a restored 19th-century opera house, stages theatre and music downtown, and the warmer months bring jazz and blues festivals and outdoor shows by Greenfield Lake.

Neither has a bathing tradition, and in both, spa time means hotel and day spas. The real difference is pace. In Virginia Beach the calm comes from early mornings on the boardwalk and the shoulder months, since high summer is loud. Wilmington is a slow-moving town all year, with quiet evenings on the riverfront and yoga studios downtown.