Amritsar or Rishikesh?

Neither city is a beach destination, but Rishikesh at least has water worth sitting beside. There are white sand banks along the Ganges and camp beaches upstream near Shivpuri. The river runs cold and fast, so most people go no further than a dip at the ghats, holding on to the chains.

Amritsar, on the Punjab plains, has nothing like this. Its only water is the sacred pool of the Golden Temple, which is for devotion and not for swimming. In both cities, a real swim means a hotel pool.

Amritsar is the city to eat in. Long-established dhabas in the old city spend the morning on one dish, such as butter-laden Amritsari kulcha, fried river fish or lassi in steel tumblers. The free langar at the Golden Temple, eaten on the floor beside pilgrims, is a meal you will not have anywhere else.

Rishikesh sells no meat or alcohol, so meals are thalis, puri and jalebi, plus pizza and Tibetan dishes on café terraces above the Ganges, aimed at yoga students. It is pleasant and cheap, but the menus repeat from café to café. Amritsar's cooking is much richer, even if it rarely goes beyond Punjabi food.

Amritsar has one of India's great sights in the Golden Temple, which repays a return visit at dawn or after dark. The history around it is heavy: Jallianwala Bagh, with bullet marks still in its walls, and the Partition Museum's personal accounts of 1947.

Rishikesh offers atmosphere rather than monuments. You can cross Ram Jhula to Swarg Ashram, watch the Ganga aarti at Triveni Ghat and wander the overgrown ashram where the Beatles stayed. Two or three days cover it, and it has no museums to match Amritsar's.

Amritsar has at least a few hotel bars and lounges, out in the newer districts and well away from the temple. The best night there costs nothing: a walk around the temple pool after dark, when it is lit up and calmer than by day.

Rishikesh sells no alcohol at all and has no bars or clubs. An evening there means the aarti on the ghats, dinner on a café terrace and an early night before dawn yoga. If you want a drink, you have to leave town.

Nature is Rishikesh's strength. Forested Shivalik ridges rise from both banks, rafting runs through serious rapids from Shivpuri, and there are waterfall hikes and ziplines. Rajaji National Park runs jeep safaris for elephants and deer, and leopards and tigers if you are lucky.

Amritsar sits in flat wheat and mustard country, with only Ram Bagh and Company Bagh for a walk in the city. Its one real nature outing is the Harike wetland, about an hour and a half away, which is worth the trip in winter for the migratory waterbirds.

Rishikesh has more within reach. Haridwar's huge aarti at Har Ki Pauri is under an hour away. Dehradun has the Forest Research Institute and the Mindrolling monastery, and Mussoorie and Devprayag make longer days out into the hills.

From Amritsar, the highlight is the flag-lowering ceremony at the Wagah border, about 30km west, a loud afternoon in front of cheering crowds. Beyond that, Tarn Taran Sahib and the French-style palace at Kapurthala appeal mainly to visitors interested in Sikh history and Punjab's princely past.

Neither city is really made for a family vacation, and what separates them is the kind of teenager each one suits. Older children who enjoy spectacle will remember Amritsar best, from eating in the langar beside pilgrims to the stamping, cheering ceremony at Wagah. Those who would rather be doing something will get more from Rishikesh, with rafting (subject to minimum ages), jeep safaris in Rajaji and ziplines.

With young children, both are hard work in different ways. In Amritsar the trouble is the city itself: crowded, traffic-filled lanes in the old town and constant care over water and street food. In Rishikesh it is the setting, with a fast, cold river, steep lanes shared with motorbikes and macaques that snatch food, although the vegetarian cooking is gentler on small stomachs.

Both are easy to walk at the centre and awkward beyond it, and neither has a metro. Amritsar's main sights sit together around a pedestrianised heritage street, and everything else means a rickshaw through heavy traffic. Rishikesh stretches along both banks, so you use footbridges and uphill paths, shared vikrams on the main road and ferries near Ram Jhula, with taxis for rafting and the hilltop temples.

Amritsar is the better place to shop. Hall Bazaar and Katra Jaimal Singh are full of Punjabi suits, shawls, phulkari embroidery and stacks of juttis. The food shops sell papad and warian to take home.

Rishikesh sells to a single theme: yoga clothes, malas, singing bowls, incense and Ayurvedic oils in the lanes around the two jhulas. Some of it is good, but much of it repeats from stall to stall. Neither city has design or luxury shopping.

Both are about as cheap as travel gets, so the difference is where the money goes. In Amritsar the temple and its langar are free and pilgrim rest houses take visitors, and hiring a car for Wagah is the main extra cost. In Rishikesh, ashram rooms and shared autos cost very little, but rafting, teacher trainings and the upmarket riverside retreats can add up.

In both cities the music is devotional, but Amritsar's is the more remarkable. At the Golden Temple, gurbani kirtan is sung to harmonium and tabla from before dawn until late at night, and anyone can sit by the pool and listen. There are also occasional bhangra and folk shows.

Rishikesh has the singing and drums of the aarti, kirtan sessions in ashrams and cafés, and the odd sitar recital. It is also the easier place to take music lessons.

Rishikesh is built for this. Dozens of ashrams run daily yoga, silent meditation and long teacher trainings, Ayurvedic clinics offer oil massages and detox treatments, and the International Yoga Festival takes place each spring. Even so, the bridges and main road are noisy, and the real peace is in the ashram gardens and upriver.

Amritsar has only a few hotel spas. Its calm comes from the Golden Temple at dawn or late at night, sitting on the cool marble with hymns in the background. That is deeply restful, but it is not a retreat.