Bethany Beach or Charleston?

The beaches are equally good but work in different ways. Bethany Beach is a single wide stretch of pale sand right in town, lifeguarded all summer, so most visitors simply walk to it from their rental. Families with small children also have the calm Inland Bays behind the island.

Charleston's beaches are spread over separate islands about half an hour from the centre. Folly is surfy and casual, Sullivan's is quiet, and Isle of Palms feels more like a resort, but you need a car to reach any of them. The water is noticeably warmer and the season longer, though it is greener and more tidal, and rip currents and jellyfish appear on some days.

Food is one of the biggest gaps between the two. In Bethany Beach, eating means summer seaside fare: steamed crabs eaten off paper, fried clams, boardwalk fries and ice cream. Many places close out of season, so for real variety you drive up to Rehoboth Beach.

Charleston is a destination for food in its own right. Its Lowcountry cooking draws on Gullah Geechee and West African roots, with shrimp and grits, she-crab soup and whole-hog barbecue, served in townhouse dining rooms on King Street and at seafood shacks on Shem Creek. The main drawback is that the best tables need booking well ahead.

If you care about sightseeing at all, this is no contest. Bethany Beach offers its carved totem pole, a small local history collection and the Second World War watchtowers along the shore, and anything more means a drive.

Charleston's historic peninsula is a sight in itself, from Rainbow Row and the Battery to the single houses south of Broad Street. The Aiken-Rhett and Nathaniel Russell houses, Fort Sumter and the International African American Museum confront the city's history head on, and together they fill two or three full days.

Bethany Beach is proud to be the Quiet Resort, and its evenings stop at dinner and a walk on the boardwalk. For late bars you have to drive to Dewey Beach or Ocean City. Charleston gives you a real night out without needing a car. Upper King Street has rooftop bars, cocktail rooms and oyster bars, and the French Quarter has quieter wine bars, though there is little club culture and most places close around 2am.

Both are flat coastal country of marsh and barrier islands, buggy in summer, and both are best seen by kayak. Bethany Beach is gentler: you paddle the shallow bays and fish at Indian River Inlet, and Assateague's wild ponies, under an hour away, are the highlight.

Charleston has more to explore. Kayak trips through the spartina creeks often meet dolphins, live oaks hung with Spanish moss line the islands, and the Francis Marion National Forest and the ACE Basin add quiet trails, alligators and a sense of real wilderness.

Bethany Beach has a pleasant list of small outings: historic Lewes, Berlin's Victorian main street and the ferry across to Cape May. None of them is a major heritage destination, though.

Charleston's outings carry more weight. Middleton Place, Drayton Hall and McLeod Plantation are about half an hour away and pair grand gardens with the history of slavery. Savannah's squares make a full day, and Beaufort shows Gullah sea-island culture. All of them need a car.

Both are calm and good for children, but Bethany Beach is built around them. The guarded beach, the bike rides, crabbing off the docks and the free bandstand evenings make an easy routine for a week. Parents give up big attractions in return, and in the off-season most child-focused businesses shut.

Charleston has more to visit, with the South Carolina Aquarium, the aircraft carrier at Patriots Point and the boat out to Fort Sumter. However, its beaches mean a drive, house tours bore small children, and summer afternoons wear everyone out.

Both centres are flat and easy on foot, and both become car towns beyond them. In Bethany Beach the walkable part is a few streets between your rental, the beach and the shops, and there is no rail link. Everything else, from supermarkets to day trips, means driving on a coast road that jams on summer weekends.

Charleston's peninsula gives you far more within walking distance, about 3km of old streets, with pedicabs and a free shuttle to fill the gaps. You still need a car or ride-hailing for the beaches and plantations.

In Bethany Beach, shopping is a separate outing by car. The town itself has little beyond swimwear, souvenirs and paperbacks for the beach. The real draw is the cluster of outlet malls on the highway outside Rehoboth Beach, about 25 minutes north, and because Delaware charges no sales tax, a big shopping run there goes further than it would across the state line.

Charleston puts its shopping on foot in the middle of the sights. A single walk up King Street takes you from antiques and art past the well-known chain stores to small independent shops, all in handsome old buildings, and at City Market you can watch Gullah craftspeople weaving sweetgrass baskets. Top designer labels are hard to find, but an afternoon browsing here feels like part of the sightseeing rather than a chore.

Both are expensive in their peak seasons, but the costs come in different forms. In Bethany Beach the big expense is a weekly beach house in July and August. Self-catering, free beach access and Delaware's lack of sales tax help, and June or September costs much less.

In Charleston, the inns on the peninsula charge big-city rates, which rise further on spring and autumn weekends, and paid house tours, parking and restaurants add up. Walking the old streets is free, and you can save by staying in Mount Pleasant and driving in.

Bethany Beach's live performance is summer cover bands and brass groups at the boardwalk bandstand, enjoyed from a deck chair. Charleston has Spoleto Festival USA every late spring, with weeks of opera, dance and chamber music. The rest of the year, the historic Dock Street Theatre, the symphony at the Gaillard Center and Gullah storytelling and song keep it well ahead.

Neither has a spa or bathing tradition, so the difference is in setting. Bethany Beach offers stillness, with leafy streets and a boardwalk that goes almost silent in spring and autumn. Charleston adds good hotel spas and the resort spas of Kiawah Island to its slow pace, along with shaded gardens and evenings at White Point Garden.