Bukhara or Khiva?

You can't swim in either town. Both lie deep in the Central Asian desert, about as far from open water as travel gets, so in summer a hotel pool is the only option. The small difference is that Bukhara's old town has historic pools such as Lyabi-Hauz to sit beside in the shade, though not to swim in. In both towns, book a hotel with a pool if you travel in the hot months.

Bukhara eats better over a longer stay. Plov from the big iron pots at lunchtime, samsa, charcoal-grilled shashlik and the dried fruit and spices of the central bazaar give a bit more choice. So do the places you eat them: teahouse platforms, or tables under the mulberry trees around the old pools. The old-town menus still repeat, and vegetarians will find little.

Khiva's cooking is the more unusual of the two, because it is Khorezmian rather than mainstream Uzbek. Look for the green dill noodles under stew and yoghurt, and the egg-filled tuhum barak. Most meals are eaten on guesthouse or rooftop terraces inside the walls, though. Street food, cafés and wine are scarce, and the range runs out after two or three days.

Bukhara has more to see, and its buildings vary more in age and type. Around the Kalon Minaret and the Poi Kalon ensemble are the tenth-century Samanid Mausoleum, the Ark, Bolo Hauz, Chor Minor and the trading domes, all linked by residential lanes that are still lived in. On the edge of town are the emirs' summer palace and the Naqshband shrine.

Khiva's strength is that it hangs together. Ichan Kala is a complete city inside mud-brick ramparts, with the tiled stump of Kalta Minor, the wooden columns of the Juma Mosque and the blue harem courtyards of Tash Hauli, and you can see the core in a day. In both towns the museums are modest, and the architecture is the reason to come.

Neither town is a place for a night out, and you will find no clubs in either. What differs is the evening atmosphere. In Bukhara, families and visitors gather at Lyabi-Hauz over tea and dinner beneath the floodlit madrasas, and a few hotel bars serve a drink. Khiva's lanes empty soon after dark, and the evening comes down to a late meal on a terrace looking out at the minarets.

Both towns stand in flat, irrigated oases of cotton fields and mulberry-lined canals at the edge of the desert, with no hills or walking trails, and both are pleasant outdoors only in spring and autumn. What differs is how easily you reach the desert. From Khiva, the dunes, ruined fortresses, camel rides and yurt camps of the Kyzylkum are just across the Amu Darya. From Bukhara, the yurt camps near the Nurata lakes are a long drive and really an overnight trip.

Bukhara has the better spread of day trips. Samarkand, with the Registan and Shah-i-Zinda, is a little under two hours away by fast train. Closer in are the family potteries of Gijduvon, the slender minaret at Vabkent and the walled city of tombs at Chor Bakr.

Khiva has really only one excursion, though it is memorable: the mud-brick fortresses of Elliq Qala, such as Ayaz Kala and Toprak Kala, about one and a half to two hours away with a hired driver. Urgench has little to see, Kunya-Urgench needs a Turkmen visa, and Bukhara is too far to go and come back in a day.

Both towns are safe, calm and warm towards children, and neither has anything built for them. Bukhara is a little easier with small children. Its flat, mostly pedestrian old town is good for pushchairs, the evening crowd at Lyabi-Hauz is full of Uzbek families, and a puppet show or a camel at the summer palace breaks up the monuments.

Khiva works better for older children than for toddlers. They will enjoy climbing a minaret, walking the ramparts or riding a camel in the desert, and the town's small size suits a short stay. In both towns, the summer heat makes spring or autumn the only sensible seasons with young ones.

Scale is the real difference here. Bukhara's walkable core is a flat, largely car-free old town about 20 minutes across, linking Lyabi-Hauz, the Kalon Minaret, the Ark and Bolo Hauz through the trading domes. The railway station is well out of town, as are the summer palace, the Naqshband shrine and Chor Bakr, so for those you will use cheap taxis or ride-hailing apps.

Khiva fits almost everything into Ichan Kala, where the major sights are only minutes apart and most visitors never need a vehicle. Trains from Bukhara and Tashkent stop a short walk from the walls. The harder parts are the airport at Urgench, about 30km away, and the desert fortresses, which need a hired driver or a tour.

Bukhara is the better place to shop, thanks to its sixteenth-century trading domes. They sell suzani, ikat, carpets, gold-embroidered caps, miniatures, hammered copper and the stork-shaped scissors of the local blacksmiths, often made in the next room. The quality varies, so take your time and bargain gently.

Khiva's range is narrower but has its own speciality in woodcarving, with carvers at work in the madrasa cells. You will also find silk carpets knotted on looms inside the walls and the shaggy sheepskin hats of Khorezm. Beyond those, the stalls repeat one another, and neither town has fashion shops or boutiques.

What separates them is where the money goes, since a stay in either costs far less than in most of Europe. In Bukhara the extra costs are taxis out to the summer palace, the shrine and the station, and dinner beside the old pools, which costs more than eating in the backstreets. Monument entry is modest, and if you want more comfort, the step up is a boutique hotel in a restored merchant's mansion.

In Khiva, nights in a family guesthouse inside or near the walls and meals of noodles, plov and tea cost little. The one notable fixed cost is the combined ticket for the old town's monuments. A driver for a day at the desert fortresses is affordable, more so if you share the car. For more comfort, there are boutique hotels in restored madrasas, which are still reasonably priced. In both towns, a family-run guesthouse with a large breakfast is the best value for the night.

Neither town has a regular theatre or concert life, and in both most of what you see is staged in madrasa courtyards for visitors. What differs is the style. Khiva's shows centre on the lazgi, Khorezm's quick, shimmering folk dance, and dorboz tightrope walkers sometimes perform on the squares. Bukhara offers folk dance and costume shows near Lyabi-Hauz, small puppet shows of local tales, and a music and drama theatre that performs in Uzbek.

If you want actual treatments as well as a slow pace, Bukhara is the clear winner. A handful of brick-domed bathhouses near the trading halls have been in use for centuries. A session means heat, a hard scrub and a massage with herbs, and some keep separate hours or rooms for men and women. Mornings in a guesthouse courtyard and a long rest through the hottest hours make the town easy to unwind in.

Khiva can't match that. Its old bathhouse is a sight to visit, not a working bath, and the only treatments are in the saunas or hammams of a few larger hotels. What it has is stillness. Once the tour groups have gone, Ichan Kala turns very quiet, and an unhurried evening on a terrace, watching the minarets darken, is the town's idea of rest.