Amritsar or Varanasi?

Neither city has anything for a beach or swimming trip, as both lie far inland on the northern plains. The water people do enter is sacred in both: the pool around the Golden Temple, and the Ganges at dawn, which is also badly polluted and fast-flowing. A hotel pool is the only option, and in Varanasi only a few larger hotels outside the old city have one.

Amritsar is the better eating city. Its Punjabi cooking is hearty and confident, from tandoor-baked kulcha drenched in butter to fried fish and slow-cooked dal, and eating at the Golden Temple langar, sitting on the floor beside pilgrims, is a meal you will remember.

Varanasi's strengths are narrower and sweeter: kachori and jalebi for breakfast, tamatar chaat, lassi in clay cups, winter malaiyo and paan rolled to order. Near the ghats it is almost entirely vegetarian, so meat-eaters will find more in Amritsar. In both, the best eating happens before evening, and fine dining is confined to hotels.

Varanasi offers much more. Its riverfront of more than eighty ghats, with pilgrims bathing, priests at prayer and cremation fires at Manikarnika, is a spectacle that runs all day, backed by the lanes to Kashi Vishwanath, Ramnagar Fort and the museum at Banaras Hindu University.

Amritsar's culture rests on one supreme sight, the Golden Temple, which repays repeat visits at different hours, plus the sobering history of Jallianwala Bagh and the Partition Museum. It is the more compact visit and easier to take in, while Varanasi asks for days of wandering, and some of its inner sanctums are closed to non-Hindus.

Both are holy cities where alcohol is unwelcome near the main shrine, so neither offers a real night out, and drinking means a hotel bar in the newer districts. The difference is in how evenings feel: in Amritsar, a long dinner and a stroll round the lit temple pool; in Varanasi, the aarti on the ghats, then chai and music in the Assi Ghat cafés before an early night.

Both sit in flat farmland, so neither is a trip for the outdoors. Varanasi's open space is the river itself, with sunrise boat rides and walks on the sandbank opposite, and the Vindhya hills and Chandraprabha's waterfalls lie about two hours away. Amritsar has city gardens such as Ram Bagh and, about an hour and a half out, the Harike wetland, which is worth the trip for migratory birds in winter.

Varanasi has the better day out in Sarnath, where the Buddha first preached, only half an hour away with its stupa, ruins and the Ashokan lion capital. Chunar Fort and the medieval mosques of Jaunpur add a couple more good half days or full days.

Amritsar's outings are fewer. The flag-lowering ceremony at the Wagah border is loud, crowded and memorable, but beyond it the choices are mostly Sikh shrines such as Tarn Taran Sahib and the palace town of Kapurthala, which will appeal most to visitors already drawn by Sikh history.

Amritsar is the more workable city with children, mainly because a visit can centre on the Golden Temple, where families are made welcome and older children can watch the huge langar kitchens at work, then finish with the stamping and cheering at Wagah. It still suits a short cultural trip with older children better than a relaxed one with toddlers. The old-city lanes are crowded, water and street food need care, and the summer heat and winter fog are hard on young ones.

Varanasi is far tougher. Cremations burn openly on the ghats, the narrow lanes are shared with cows, motorbikes and open drains, and there are no parks, zoos or child-friendly museums to break up the day. Families who come usually keep it brief: a dawn boat ride, an outing to Sarnath and a comfortable hotel away from the river.

Amritsar is the easier city to get around. Its main sights sit together around a pedestrianised heritage street, so most of a visit is done on foot, and for everything else you take a rickshaw or a ride-hailing car.

Varanasi has a fine walk of its own along the riverside ghats from Assi to Raj Ghat, with boats covering the same stretch from the water. Step away from the river, though, and the old city becomes a disorienting maze, while the newer city's traffic is heavy. Neither has a metro, and both call for a hired car or taxi for trips out of town.

Varanasi has the stronger draw in Banarasi silk, brocade woven with gold and silver thread, which you can buy straight from workshops in the weavers' quarters. Brass ritual ware, wooden toys and instruments fill out the crafts, though touts steering visitors to particular silk houses are part of the experience.

Amritsar's bazaars, Hall Bazaar and Katra Jaimal Singh, are better for everyday Punjabi textiles: phulkari embroidery, shawls, suits and stacks of embroidered juttis, plus papad and warian to take home. Bargaining is expected in both, and neither has much in the way of luxury shopping.

Both are exceptionally cheap, and in both the main sights are free: the Golden Temple and its langar in Amritsar, the ghats and the aarti in Varanasi. Amritsar's pilgrim rest houses and inexpensive mid-range hotels make it easy to stay comfortably for little, while in Varanasi the big temptation for the wallet is silk, along with the riverside palace hotels.

Varanasi is far ahead. It is a historic home of Hindustani classical music, with its own vocal, tabla and dance traditions, intimate recitals in music schools, all-night concerts at the Sankat Mochan festival in spring, and the long Ramlila at Ramnagar. The nightly Ganga aarti is itself a staged performance watched by thousands.

Amritsar's one great musical experience is the gurbani kirtan sung in the Golden Temple from before dawn until late, open to anyone sitting by the pool. Apart from that there are only occasional bhangra and folk shows.

Neither is a spa destination, but Varanasi gives more to someone who wants to slow down. Yoga, meditation teachers and Ayurvedic massage are easy to find around Assi Ghat, and a quiet dawn on the river can be very calming, though the city's intensity makes rest something you have to plan.

Amritsar's calm comes almost entirely from one place: the cool marble around the temple pool at dawn or late at night, with hymns in the air. Beyond that, the city is noisy and crowded, and it has little beyond a few hotel spas.