Asheville or Cape May?

This is Cape May's strongest advantage. It has a long stretch of sand in front of the promenade with lifeguards and gentle surf, the sea is warm enough for long swims by August, and the bay side adds the quiet pleasure of hunting for Cape May diamonds at sunset.

Asheville has no beach life at all. Swimming there means cold plunge pools in Pisgah, the rock slide at Sliding Rock, river floats on the French Broad and a small sandy beach at Lake Lure. These make good summer afternoons, but they are no substitute for a real beach.

Asheville eats and drinks on a bigger scale. Its brewery scene is spread across downtown, the South Slope and West Asheville, and chef-led kitchens cook with Appalachian trout, heirloom corn, ramps and Southern barbecue. Cider, mead and the farmers' markets add to the range.

Cape May's strength is narrower. Its fishing port puts scallops, flounder and local oysters on almost every menu, and porch breakfasts are a pleasure. Beyond the seafood you are mostly left with fudge and boardwalk snacks, and many kitchens cut back in winter.

Asheville has more to see. The Biltmore Estate alone fills a day with its Gilded Age château and Olmsted gardens. Downtown's Art Deco buildings, the Basilica of St Lawrence and the Folk Art Center add another day or two.

In Cape May the town itself is the main exhibit. You come for the streets of painted Victorian cottages and porched hotels, with the Physick Estate and the lighthouse as the main visits. It is charming, but a day or two covers it.

Neither town is built for late nights, but Asheville gives you more of an evening. Taprooms, cocktail bars and dive bars sit within walking distance of each other downtown and on the South Slope, Haywood Road has a local crowd, and there is a small LGBTQ scene.

Cape May's evenings are porch-paced. A few pubs and hotel bars around the pedestrian mall have cover bands in summer, and the town is mostly asleep by midnight. Anyone wanting more noise drives to the Wildwoods.

Nature is Asheville's main draw, and the gap is wide. Within about an hour you can reach the Blue Ridge Parkway, Pisgah National Forest, Mount Mitchell and the Great Smokies. There are waterfall walks, ridge hikes, the Appalachian Trail, mountain biking and whitewater on three rivers.

Cape May's outdoors are flat and coastal, but they have a real speciality. It is one of North America's great migration points for hawks, songbirds and monarch butterflies, and summer dolphin-watching boats are close to a sure thing. Kayaking the back-bay marshes completes a gentler kind of outdoor trip.

Asheville has slightly more to fill extra days, though most of it is landscape. Brevard's waterfall country, the Carl Sandburg Home at Flat Rock and the Museum of the Cherokee Indian are within easy reach, and Greenville's riverside downtown is about an hour away.

Cape May's best outing is the ferry across Delaware Bay to colonial Lewes. The Wildwoods and Atlantic City are along the same coast, and Philadelphia is possible as a long and tiring day.

Cape May is the easier family choice, especially with small children. Lifeguarded beaches, safe flat streets, surrey rides on the promenade, crabbing on the bay and a free county zoo nearby keep days simple. The Wildwoods' piers and water parks are close for rides.

Asheville suits older, active children better. The Nature Center's bears and red wolves, river tubing, Sliding Rock and zip lines are fun, but sights are scattered and it means plenty of time in the car.

Cape May is easier once you have arrived. The historic district, the promenade and Washington Street Mall are a short, flat walk apart, and bicycles handle the rest. Reaching the town without a car is awkward, though, and parking is a nuisance.

Asheville's walkable downtown is hilly, and the things most visitors come for, including Biltmore, the Parkway and the trailheads, need a car on slow, winding mountain roads. October weekends bring heavy traffic.

Asheville gives you a real reason to shop: Appalachian craft. Pottery, glass, weaving and woodwork fill the River Arts District studios and the Folk Art Center, and the Grove Arcade adds independent boutiques and bookshops. Cape May's Washington Street Mall makes for pleasant browsing, with antiques, galleries and taffy, but it is a rainy-afternoon pastime.

Neither is cheap, but Asheville is easier on the wallet. Its rooms are pricey and peak on autumn weekends, but the trails, waterfalls and Parkway cost nothing, and midweek and winter stays ease the bill. The main extras are Biltmore admission and a hire car.

Cape May in summer is expensive in almost every way, with premium B&B rates, minimum stays, beach tags and paid parking. The shoulder seasons help, and many budget-minded visitors stay in the Wildwoods instead.

Asheville has a living music tradition that Cape May lacks. You will find bluegrass and old-time jams, buskers downtown, free fiddle evenings at Shindig on the Green and the Mountain Dance and Folk Festival, running since 1928, alongside touring rock and Americana acts.

Cape May leans towards theatre. It has a professional company in a converted church, historic American drama, a long-established chamber music festival and summer concerts in Convention Hall. All of this makes a nice evening out, but it shrinks sharply out of season.

Asheville has the stronger tradition of rest. People have come to its mountain air for their health since the nineteenth century, and today there are retreats, yoga, large resort spas and the riverside mineral tubs at Hot Springs.

Cape May relaxes you through its pace rather than through treatments: rocking chairs on porches, parlour teas and bay sunsets, with a few small day spas. On summer weekends it is busy rather than restful, so the quieter shoulder seasons are better for a calm stay.