Phnom Penh or Siem Reap?

Neither city has a beach, and in both the hotel pool takes its place through the heat. The difference is how far away the sea is. From Phnom Penh the coast around Kep and Kampot is about three hours by road, while from Siem Reap it takes most of a day. Neither the Mekong nor the Tonle Sap lake is for swimming.

Phnom Penh eats better. Breakfast can be bai sach chrouk at a stall or a seat at the counters of Central Market and the Russian Market, and from there the choice runs up to Khmer fine dining and NGO training restaurants. Across BKK1 and the riverside there is also a café habit going back to French rule, with good baguettes and strong iced coffee.

Siem Reap cooks the same Khmer dishes, amok and num banh chok among them, and has a few thoughtful tasting menus. But the centre around Pub Street leans to pizza and backpacker menus, so the good meals take a tuk-tuk ride into the side streets.

Siem Reap has one of the world's great sights on its doorstep. Angkor Wat, Angkor Thom with the stone faces of the Bayon, and Ta Prohm with trees splitting its galleries all begin a short ride north of town. Three days covers them without exhausting them.

Phnom Penh tells a different story. It has the Royal Palace and Silver Pagoda and the National Museum's Angkorian sculpture, and Tuol Sleng and Choeung Ek explain the Khmer Rouge years. It takes two or three days and works best as the modern-history half of a trip that ends at Angkor.

Phnom Penh has the fuller night out. It moves from rooftop sundowners over the Tonle Sap to the small cocktail and craft bars around Bassac Lane, and the clubs near the riverside and on Street 51 run into the early morning. Keep your bag away from the road, as passing motorbikes snatch them.

Siem Reap's evenings gather on Pub Street, a few sociable blocks of cheap draught beer and buckets for the backpacker crowd, with quieter bars along the river. There is no club culture, and early starts at the temples end many nights early.

Siem Reap brings you closer to the countryside. Rice paddies and village lanes make easy cycling from town, and boats reach the flooded forest and the storks and pelicans of Prek Toal. Phnom Kulen and Kbal Spean add a waterfall and short jungle trails.

Phnom Penh's landscape is where three rivers meet, best seen from the promenade, a sunset boat or a bicycle on Koh Dach. For real forest you have to go to Kirirom, about two and a half hours away.

Siem Reap has the stronger days out, because the temples carry on beyond the main park. There is the carved pink sandstone of Banteay Srei, the collapsed and overgrown Beng Mealea and the early Roluos group, and Koh Ker for a long day. In the wet season, the stilt villages such as Kampong Phluk make a good outing on the lake.

The outings from Phnom Penh are quieter. They include the ridge of stupas at Oudong, the lakeside temple at Tonle Bati, the hilltop at Phnom Chisor and the silk-weaving villages on the Mekong islands.

Both cities are hard work with small children because of the heat, broken pavements and traffic, and in both the hotel pool anchors the day. What differs is the appeal. Siem Reap gives older children real adventure, scrambling through the roots at Ta Prohm and taking boats to the stilt villages.

Phnom Penh has the Phnom Tamao rescue centre, river cruises and malls with play areas and ice rinks. Its main sights, Tuol Sleng and Choeung Ek, are not places for children.

Neither city has public transport a visitor would use, and in both the tuk-tuk does the work, hailed in the street or booked by app. Phnom Penh is larger and more spread out, so you rely more on motorbike taxis and need nerve to cross the roads.

Siem Reap's centre is small enough to walk, and the main Angkor circuits are flat enough for a bicycle or e-bike. Most visitors still hire a driver for the day at the temples.

Phnom Penh is the better place to shop. The Russian Market's covered stalls mix silk, silver, carvings and surplus clothing from local factories, and Central Market adds gold and jewellery under its art deco dome. The boutiques around Street 240 sell silk, homewares and Kampot pepper, and malls cover the international chains.

Siem Reap's Old Market and night markets are more about souvenirs. Its artisan workshops are worth finding, though, to watch silk weaving, carving and lacquerware being made.

Both are very cheap: Khmer meals, tuk-tuks, massages and hotels with pools cost a fraction of Western prices. What differs is the cost that hurts. In Siem Reap it is the Angkor pass that foreigners must buy, which weighs on a short stay. In Phnom Penh it is imported wine, Western restaurants and international hotels, which cost about what they would at home.

In both cities classical Khmer dance is the evening worth planning for, and neither has opera, an orchestra or a theatre district. Phnom Penh gives the dance a proper setting of its own. Shows near the National Museum combine it with masks and shadow puppets, and the Chaktomuk Theatre by the river takes the bigger occasions.

In Siem Reap the apsara usually comes with dinner, and standards vary, so choose a modest performance that takes the dance seriously rather than a large buffet. What Siem Reap has and the capital lacks is its circus, where young Cambodian performers under a big top tell Khmer stories through acrobatics and live music.

Siem Reap is the easier place to slow down. Besides the massage parlours on its streets, many resorts have proper spas with herbal compresses, and yoga classes and small retreats are easy to find. Early mornings at the temples and long afternoons by the pool build rest into every day.

Phnom Penh has massage on almost every street, blind-masseur centres and leafy villa hotels. Even so, traffic, dust and noise are never far away.