Delhi or Varanasi?

Both cities lie far inland, so swimming plays no part in choosing between them. Delhi's Yamuna is simply not a river to swim in. In Varanasi, pilgrims bathe in the Ganges at dawn, but with the pollution and strong current it is something to watch, not join.

Delhi's many large hotels make a pool easier to find. In Varanasi only a few bigger hotels away from the old city have one.

Delhi has the far wider table. Old Delhi's lanes around Chandni Chowk serve Mughlai and Punjabi cooking at its source, butter chicken and dal makhani are local inventions, and chaat carts are everywhere. Above the street, the restaurants range from regional Indian kitchens to modern tasting menus.

Varanasi's food is narrower and almost all vegetarian near the ghats. Dawn kachori, lassi in clay cups, winter malaiyo and paan are all worth seeking out. But alcohol is scarce, and fine dining barely exists outside a few hotels.

Both cities are among India's great sights, but in very different ways. Delhi is a city of monuments left by successive empires: the Red Fort, Humayun's Tomb, the Qutb Minar, the imperial avenue of Kartavya Path and the national collections. They are so far apart that each day needs planning.

Varanasi's sight is a living one. Several kilometres of ghats carry bathing, prayer and cremation in full view, and the lanes behind lead to Kashi Vishwanath. It has fewer museums, and some sanctums are closed to non-Hindus, but nothing in Delhi matches daily ritual on that scale.

Delhi offers a real night out, though it is spread across the city. There are rooftop bars in Hauz Khas Village, pubs under the colonnades of Connaught Place, and bigger clubs and brewpubs in Gurugram, all reached by taxi and busiest at weekends.

Varanasi is a holy city where alcohol is frowned on around the ghats. An evening there means the aarti, a rooftop dinner and chai with music at Assi Ghat, then an early night before the dawn start.

Neither city has much wild scenery, since both sit on flat plains with fierce summers. Delhi's outdoors means gardens and patches of forest such as Lodhi Gardens, Sunder Nursery and the Ridge. It also has good winter birdwatching at Okhla and Sultanpur.

Varanasi's outdoors is the river: a rowing boat past the ghats at sunrise and a walk on the sandbank opposite. The Vindhya hills and the waterfalls of Chandraprabha are about two hours south and at their best after the monsoon.

Delhi's best card is Agra, under two hours away by express train. The Taj Mahal and Agra Fort make an unforgettable day. Fatehpur Sikri, the holy towns of Mathura and Vrindavan, and the fort at Neemrana add further choices.

Varanasi's great outing is close by: Sarnath, half an hour away, where the Buddha first preached. Chunar Fort and the old mosques of Jaunpur can fill another day or two. Beyond those, most places are too far to get back the same evening.

Neither city is easy with children, but Delhi is far more manageable. It at least has places built for them, including the rail museum's steam engines, the zoo, the science centre and the water parks on the edge of the city. The metro also takes some of the strain out of getting around.

Varanasi has almost nothing aimed at children. Lanes full of cows and open drains, chaotic traffic and cremations on the ghats make it hard going. Families who include it usually keep the stay short and base themselves in a quiet hotel away from the river.

Delhi is vast and congested, but the metro makes the distances workable. It is clean and air-conditioned, signed in English, and reaches the airport and most major monuments.

Varanasi has no metro, and away from the river the traffic is slow and loud. Its strength is the riverfront, where the ghats link up on foot for several kilometres from Assi to Raj Ghat, with boats along the same stretch. Anything further away means bargaining with rickshaws and autos.

Delhi brings together crafts from all over India. You can buy them at Dilli Haat and the fixed-price state emporiums, or explore Old Delhi's specialist bazaars, the designer boutiques of Khan Market and Shahpur Jat, the cheap clothes of Janpath and the luxury malls of South Delhi.

Varanasi does one thing superbly: Banarasi silk brocade, bought from weavers' workshops or the silk houses around Godowlia. Beyond that and some brassware, toys and beads, the lanes mostly sell devotional goods, and touts working on commission make buying silk a matter of care.

Both cities are very cheap by international standards, so the difference lies in where the money goes. In Delhi, the bigger costs are the higher entry fees foreigners pay at monuments, plus the grand hotels and smart South Delhi restaurants if you choose them. In Varanasi, the ghats and the aarti cost nothing, and the main temptations are a palace hotel on the river or a length of silk.

Delhi's stage life follows an auditorium season, while Varanasi's finest music is heard in temple courtyards and on the ghats. In the cooler months the halls around Mandi House and the cultural centres of Lodhi Road fill with Hindustani recitals and Kathak and Bharatanatyam dance. The National School of Drama makes the city India's theatre capital, though most plays are in Hindi, and the free Sufi qawwali at the Nizamuddin shrine, traditionally on Thursday evenings, is the one many visitors remember.

Varanasi has its own gharanas of vocal, tabla and dance, which you hear in small recitals at music schools and guesthouses and above all at festivals such as the all-night Sankat Mochan Sangeet Samaroh in spring and the Dhrupad Mela on Tulsi Ghat. The Ramlila at Ramnagar lasts a month and has no counterpart in Delhi, but anyone hoping for a play or a jazz set will find more choice in the capital.

Neither city is a place to unwind. The difference lies in where you find calm, not how much of it there is. In Delhi, calm is mostly paid for and kept indoors: the large hotels offer Ayurvedic treatments and massage in their spas, and smaller studios across South Delhi teach yoga. Outside, the traffic and winter smog press in, and the quiet hours come early, in Lodhi Gardens or beneath the dome of a gurudwara.

Varanasi is the other way round. Its calm is out in the open and costs little, whether it is a yoga class or a massage near Assi Ghat or an hour on the water as the sun comes up. There are few spas to shut yourself away in, though, and the crowds and open cremations on the ghats make the days heavy going. Plan regular breaks back at your room.